The Answer is Still No – Vampire Verisimilitude

If there was an organized Vampire Nation, a Council of Bloodsuckers, or an Undead Italian Governing Body, the answer still has to be no.

Vampires won’t fix things for you.

As a reminder: the Vampire population is much lower than mortals who believe think they are; a good rule is one bloodsucker for every three-quarters of a million people. The United States, for example, is home to a little over four hundred immortals; New York City only has about twelve… not exactly enough to fill up a night club.

Most of us stay far away from politics and even further from religion.

Yes, I’ve watched the news: what’s the new guy done now? Well, he hasn’t repealed the Vampire Tolerance Act (there isn’t one) or declared all immortals enemy of the state (because we don’t call that kind of attention to ourselves). The most influence we’ll exert is to keep our little corner of the planet safe for those we care about — which for most immortals is only themselves. Besides only being influential at night, we can’t go on television and mass-hypnotize everyone into getting along; the most we could do is prove we exist to the world, are a credible threat, and give you a specific enemy to fight against together.

HBO’s “True Blood” covered much of that… poorly — not to mention those season finales were always so bad.

beetlejuicejunocasworkerWhether you believe in your elected leaders or not, whether your candidate got in or not, the Vampire Vote just doesn’t carry any weight unless you’re bringing ire and grief to our doorstep — in which case, there won’t be any emergency actions or filed appeals, but it also won’t go any further than the foolish individuals who knock on the crypt door.

What I’m saying is, stop wishing for a knight in shining armor, a superhero with a cape, or a vengeful spirit seeking retribution to fix all of your problems.

To quote Juno the Caseworker from Beetlejuice: “Get them out yourselves — it’s your house.”

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

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Midwinter Nights – Vampire Verisimilitude

The sun goes down; the fires light up.

cedarcrestfirepitwinterThe world looks renewed after a snowfall. With ice and snow covering everything, color and individual details merge into monochromatic shades and textures, becoming something different — perhaps something more. Everything familiar and unique becomes joined in single theme. The skies turn gray, a blanket over the stars and heavens.

Bask in the glory of Winter at night.

Sometimes, you need a moment of silence in the dark and the cold, long enough to see it for what it is: a frozen moment in time when the future is full of possibility… even for a Vampire.

But for now, all is peace.

The good Lord knows we need it right now.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

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Indomitable – Vampire Verisimilitude

It’s been an interesting few days in the U.S. of A.

An arguably narcissistic, arguably successful businessman took the reins of a republic to lackluster fanfare, while a next-day women’s march became the biggest inaugural protest in the country’s history… possibly the world. A true leader would acknowledge and address the concerns of so many; instead of seizing upon that opportunity, the media was accused of intentional and inaccurate reporting… and anyone watching could see that was a whopper of a lie.

Climate change, civil rights, LGTB concerns, and health care vanished from the White House website as if they had never been.

Somewhere in middle forgotten flyover America — of which our little neck of the woods is certainly included — worried folks are still holding out hope that maybe in return for their support, new jobs are on their way and I want them to be right.

For me, the Women’s March represented something great: choice.

earth-viahubbleLife is precious; believe me, I get that — read: I’m a Vampire — but you cannot fully appreciate what you have until you’ve lost the ability to choose for yourself. History is littered with the casualties of loss of choice — both slavery and genocide in the extreme — often because those in power use it against those who needs their help the most. With the open global communication of today, it’s hard to sweep these kinds of activities under the carpet… we can see you, and we’re not putting up with it.

I had my choice taken away, and I’m telling you: NEVER again.

The Vampire population isn’t large, less than ten thousand in a world of over seven billion. We don’t want to dominate; we want to be left alone. That may sound very libertarian, but it’s also practical; a large Vampire population would ravage the Earth and doom us all, so this is in everyone’s best interest. But the idea that we should have no interest in politics until it knocks on our doors is dangerous; we all need to pay attention.

Forget “stronger together” and “making everything great.”

We are indomitable. All of us.

We need sanctuary cities. We need escape from tyranny. Those who have power need to protect those who do not instead of using it against them.

It has to be all-inclusive. It already is, even if you can’t see that. We’re all in this together.

Yes, even the damn Vampires.

What affects one affects all. The old ways didn’t work and we don’t have all of the solutions yet, but we have to keep moving forward.

There is no utopia. We have to work through these differences.

Civilization cannot survive if we do not.

Speak up. Stand together. Survive and be vigilant.

We are indomitable… and we’re not going away.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

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Cedarcrest Sanctum 101 – Vampire Verisimilitude

I didn’t create Cedarcrest Sanctum — another Vampire did that.

On the surface, it’s easy to assume, “Oh, she just wanted a stable of living donors to drink from whenever she wanted.” There’s some truth to that — a Vampire has to survive — but it was more. Louisa wasn’t only interested in her own survival; she wanted others to share in it and take a benefit for themselves. Our blood is sustaining to the living — what is best described as ghouling — meaning our residents live virtually pain and symptom free from any ailment at any age. It’s not a cure, only a suspension… but it must be maintained.

But that isn’t all that Cedarcrest is. The term “sanctum” is significant and intentional, no matter how archaic the word might sound. Sanctum has two definitions:

  1. a sacred place, especially a shrine within a temple or church.
  2. a private place from which most people are excluded.

campusmontageI think she combined these ideas for Cedarcrest. While she certainly ruled the roost, I don’t think she saw herself as the high priest or queen of the damned; it was a place of refuge and safety — a sanctuary. Even under the guise of an elder care home, she actively sought her residents, scouring public records for the homeless and those in dire situations. Her days were long past acting the part of den mother to a sorority… something she actually did for a time after she was turned.

Our best evidence is her legacy: she wanted another Vampire, one she could trust, to carry on in her place. While she was done with the world, she didn’t consign her charges to a similar fate; there’s something noble in that.

Louisa’s long-term investments were transferred over to Cedarcrest as a trust and portfolio long before she left us; our continued charities and research branches are well-funded and self-reinvesting, but we can’t help everyone we want to. We operate without any outside funding but must maintain in-state oversight — it is a retirement home, after all. In spite of everything we do, this is still considered low-profile. Sometimes to help those in need, we have to do it under-the-table, anonymously, or even out-of-pocket.

cedarcrestsanctummainentranceWe can really only maintain sixty residents, forty staff, and one immortal… by design. For people who don’t know about The Program (a clever nondescript name for our mutual mortal-immortal arrangement), we’re often asked why we draw no state or federal funding yet still provide no-cost boarding to our residents. Timothy told me the truth of it: even before Cedarcrest’s creation, Louisa was an outspoken advocate in caring for homeless elderly and funded other facilities to offset costs from her own personal fortune before forming the Cedarcrest Foundation of Appalachia (CFA).

Those who benefited didn’t feed her; she only ever met a handful of the ones she supported. It wasn’t about guilt or obligation; she did it because it was the right thing to do.

Paraphrasing: “But it’s your money, Louisa — why spend so much of it on them? You don’t even know them.” Is that really a question?

How do you explain to people it’s important to care about other people?

I almost made this mistake. I guess it must be something all new Vampires have to struggle with, wanting to continue old relationships and family ties but afraid you’ll hurt those you care about; it takes time, but it’s not impossible. Take care of your elders and spend time with them: parents, grandparent, and great grandparents. Listen to their stories and help them stay current.

You’ll miss them when they’re gone and regret if you failed to connect… and that’s forever when you’re an immortal.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe.
~ Janiss

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An Old-Time Allegheny Christmas – Daughters of Darkness

Note: this conversation originally took place on the evening of Wednesday, December 21st — the 2016 Winter Solstice.


2016daughtersofdarknessJaniss: We’re back for another evening of hot cocoa and immortal talk. Say hello, Nancy.

Nancy: (long sigh) Hello.

J: It’s the longest night of the year, and you’ve chosen to spend at least a little of it with me — thank you.

N: Free drinks, yes?

J: I pay for those.

N: Free for me, then. (sips) What topic have you chosen?

J: Christmas, of course.

N: Very appropriate. (gestures at all the decorations and shoppers, then at her themed cup) Continue.

J: (leans forward) Do you celebrate it?

N: (raises an eyebrow)

J: Come on, you can’t tell me you’ve never been swayed by the Christmas spirit. Not once in three centuries?

N: I most often choose to spend it alone not killing anyone.

J: Isn’t that how you spend most nights?

N: (nods) Not all that different from any other time of year.

J: What about people watching?

N: I find it inappropriate to leer at livestock while it roams and grazes. (sips)
Continue reading “An Old-Time Allegheny Christmas – Daughters of Darkness”

Happy New Year from Cedarcrest Sanctum!

It’s been a tough year, lost some good people along the way, but now we turn toward a new cycle. Hope you enjoyed your favorite drink last night and got some well-deserved rest afterward. Happy New Year, everyone.

2016happynewyear

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe.
~ Janiss

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Merry Christmas from Cedarcrest Sanctum!

matriarchchristmascard

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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Images and Words – Conversations With Dead People

I haven’t been a Vampire long, but I think I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

Maybe it comes from being comfortable spending time alone.

Yesterday evening, I realized most of the coats in my closet are red — poppy red, specifically. I love the color and the way it looks on me.

There’s one notable exception: a black woolen boot-camp-issue US Navy pea coat. It was first the property of Eric Moore, and like everything else, he handed it down to his younger brother Daniel. I got it from him because he didn’t need it anymore — it hurts even thinking about that.

janisswinterroadI put it on when I saw it — it’s always been way too big for me, but you can snuggle into it. It smells like both of them.

I was an only child growing up, but Daniel and Eric lived across street from me. I treated them like brothers and they watched out for me like a sister, but I don’t think my dad’s businesses taking off was the only reason he wanted to move off our street before I started high school. Daniel and I started getting closer and he knew it, only I never saw that as a big deal.

But I think dad thought I could do better.

I never saw the Moores as “poor,” but they were. Daniel got Eric’s old clothes, but what wasn’t hand-me-down they shared. Sometimes I stayed for dinner — Mr. Moore would invite me to stay but their mom always grumbled, probably because they didn’t have enough for an extra plate.

The boys’ favorite meal was this stuff called “Treet” — kind of like Spam, I think — sliced thin and sautéed in a pan with sweet barbecue sauce. It was served with boxed macaroni and cheese — not the Kraft kind — and a side of heated apple pie filling: undressed pie. Sure, it wasn’t the most nutritious meal, but they liked it and so did I.

I didn’t think of them as poor… because I never thought less of them.

St. Clairsville, Ohio is exactly the kind of sleepy little hill town you might imagine it to be with a name like that, and not everyone there has boatloads of cash at their disposal. Since living in West Virginia and working with folks in and around Gilmer County, I have a new definition of poor.

When I began to realize just how little they had, it bothered me I had so much. I was afraid they would think I was stuck up or better than them. I valued how they thought of me and I never wanted them to keep anything from me.

Boy, was I a naive little girl, huh?

Their Uncle Par had paid for all of Daniel’s college after Eric joined the Navy. I had no idea until recently — then again, I didn’t know he was actually their great great uncle and a Vampire, either. If it hadn’t been for Mr. Haley, Daniel probably would have never left Ohio.

Yeah, I’m feeling a little nostalgic. Daniel’s in my head now — my fault for blindly killing him — an eternal reminder of what I am.

When I was ten, there were two things Santa brought on Christmas I’d asked for: a Tamagotchi — full disclosure: I killed that thing constantly — and a bicycle: a Disney Princess bike, pink and pastel purple with white tires a heart basket on the front and little stickers with all the Disney Princesses.

Eric’s bike was broken so Daniel had no bike. Yep… I let him ride mine. I remember being happy he was happy getting to ride it.

I was busy killing my digital pet sitting in the yard that afternoon when my dad came outside and saw Daniel riding that pink, purple, and white bicycle between our driveways. Dad looked sternly at me; it wasn’t like I gave it away. Daniel didn’t see him as he came back over into our driveway; he looked up and saw my dad glaring at him, not saying a word — I couldn’t speak either. Daniel stepped off the bicycle, set it down carefully, and went back home across the street.

I was mad at my dad but I was too scared to say anything.

At dinner, in the smallest voice you can imagine, I asked, “Can I keep my princess bike at Daniel’s house? He can ride it when I’m not using it.”

I had no idea what my dad was thinking, but he didn’t say anything. He just looked at my mom, got up and left the table. “Yes, Sweetie,” she said. “As long as he gives it back whenever you ask.”

I knew he would.

When one of the inner tubes blew with Daniel riding it, I told him to let me take it home so dad would think I had done it.

Where am I going with all of this?

People aren’t always what you think they are. You have to get to know them. You have to make an effort.

Seeing all this news and hate, all this fear of one another — because we don’t want to know. It’s all about us. We’re lazy, and I just —

This is dumb. No one is going to read this. Never mind…

“It doesn’t matter,” Daniel whispers in my ear as I feel his arms close around me. He’s not a ghost, but I can see him if I start daydreaming, acting independently of my thoughts. He’s a soul I’ve taken whether I meant to or not.

“You didn’t used to be this romantic,” I reply, happy to have him in the moment.

“Sure I was. I just always saved it for special occasions.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“You needed me.”

* * *

It was ten years after Dream Theater released this song, “Wait for Sleep,” that I heard it for the first time, the kind of music you latch onto, put on repeat, and cry your eyes out. I use to feel sorry for the woman in the lyrics — now I am her, but I never fall asleep.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe.
~ Janiss

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Relating to Kate Beckinsale’s Selene – Vampire Verisimilitude

It seems many of you are obsessed with Kate Beckinsale, specifically her Vampire character Selene from the action-horror film series Underworld. She’s a Death Dealer who fights in a war against Lycans (read: werewolves) but usually ends up fighting everyone — and for good reason: she’s been lied to for six centuries about who she is, never mind the pettiness between the factions and having to choose her allies carefully to protect herself and those she cares about.

Can I relate? Oh Lord yes. While I don’t have werewolves to deal with (thank God for small favors), it turns out Vampires are neither a freak of nature nor an accident in my circles. Our original creators, the Blood Workers, made us with purpose… and we’ve all been at odds ever since.

So, in relating to dear Selene…

udnerworldselenecryingSecrecy. Similar to Underworld, the other Vampires I deal with accept we don’t trust one another. Because Blood Workers have various individual powers they can choose to pass on or withhold, the skill set of individual Vampires can vary. Even exposure to a power can help one of my kind to develop it if given enough time, so if you’re going to destroy a fellow Vampire using “a cool new ability,” do it quickly before your opponent figures out how to use it against you. Selene is a master strategist at this; the longer we survive, the better we become.

Paranoia. It isn’t entirely our fault we freak one another out: we were made not to trust one another — even instinctively hate each other — so we would keep to our creator and trust them in all things. When the first makers were destroyed, Vampires fended for themselves due to the restrictions placed upon them. We were created to be the tribal figurehead: the warrior chieftain that others would look up to while heeding the advice of their “spiritual guide.” Paranoia may seem extreme until you realize everyone is out to get you, so we both understand this.

underworldselenevengeanceProtector. Of everything Selene does or can do, this is the one I relate to the most: she cares, often to the point of putting herself in personal danger to save someone else. Gaining her trust isn’t easy — she’s been screwed over too many times — but once earned, Selene will go the distance. I like to think of myself that way, but cross either of us and you should probably run.

Memory. Blood transference of memory — a part of a victim’s soul itself — is something which still gives me the willies. In Underworld, Vampires can’t keep secrets from one another because they can taste their memories through blood; in my experience, immortal blood is useless to another immortal (which is why we have to stay close to mortals), so the transference only works between Vampire and human. This feeds into the aforementioned secrecy and paranoia because we can still deceive one another, but keeping the memories of victims separated from your own is a chore, and cheating those boundaries doesn’t make it any easier.

underworldseleneblueeyesBrooding. After six centuries: really, Selene? I did the everything-is-dark thing for a while, but after a year and a half I just couldn’t. It wasn’t me and was never me. Since purging my sire’s willfulness from my head, his memories often merge into my own and I catch myself being more sarcastic than I used to be, but the whole silent brooding over the city at night? I can’t do it, especially here in the country where the tallest structure is a water tower (cue the “Animaniacs” theme song). But hey, I can scare the living hell out of people by popping out of the shadows at them; it’s become a bit of a game for me now.

Smart, beautiful, deadly and dedicated, I’d like to think if Selene were real, we could be friends. And those blue eyes when she vamps out? Total girl crush.

And yeah, I’ll see the new movie when it comes out. How’s that for meta: a Vampire who likes Vampire movies?

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe.
~ Janiss

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A Holiday Connection – Vampire Verisimilitude

vampirethanksgivingI posted a picture of my holiday meal on Thanksgiving: a warm turkey-themed mug filled to the brim with my favorite nutritional supplement. Some people thought it was animal blood or some other creature.

Nope: pure grade-A human.

Several, actually; it takes five willing donors to measure up to 500 milliliters, so feel free to call the American Red Cross and accuse them of being “the real Vampires” since they don’t stop at a mere fifth of a pint. My requirements are negligible in comparison, even at three times a night.

But this post isn’t about that.

The holidays are upon us!

Following Turkey Week (because Deer Season is this whole thing here in West Virginia), there’s Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, and every other holiday… whew! And during this time, we expect calls from relatives, friends, people you’re reconnecting with, new people you’ve just met, and more.

Or… not.

Warning: this might sound a little down for a moment, but stick with me.
Continue reading “A Holiday Connection – Vampire Verisimilitude”