An Old-Time Allegheny Christmas – Daughters of Darkness

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From three years ago… enjoy!

Cedarcrest Sanctum - The Matriarch Vampires

Note: this conversation originally took place on the evening of Wednesday, December 21st — the 2016 Winter Solstice.


2016daughtersofdarknessJaniss: We’re back for another evening of hot cocoa and immortal talk. Say hello, Nancy.

Nancy: (long sigh) Hello.

J: It’s the longest night of the year, and you’ve chosen to spend at least a little of it with me — thank you.

N: Free drinks, yes?

J: I pay for those.

N: Free for me, then. (sips) What topic have you chosen?

J: Christmas, of course.

N: Very appropriate. (gestures at all the decorations and shoppers, then at her themed cup) Continue.

J: (leans forward) Do you celebrate it?

N: (raises an eyebrow)

J: Come on, you can’t tell me you’ve never been swayed by the Christmas spirit. Not once in three centuries?

N: I most often choose to spend it alone not killing anyone.

J: Isn’t that how you spend…

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The Longest Night of the Year — Vampire Verisimilitude

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Happy Winter Solstice to all! That was yesterday technically — last night for me — but I prefer to think my heart is still in the right place.

This post is going to sound cryptic, so fair warning.

Things have changed. No, I can’t go into details about it, and yes, it has something to do with our last evacuation drill.

On a sad note, we lost one of our own. On a positive note, others are now safe, even if we don’t know where they are.

I warned you it was cryptic.

Yes, I’m fine, for those who’ve been asking.

As we draw closer to Christmas and the New Year, here’s another reminder from your executive administrator and the entire staff of Cedarcrest Sanctum that to make the most of the time you have with the people you love, especially since none of us know how long that may be.

Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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Thirty is the New Eternity

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Thirty is the new twenty. Forty is the new thirty. Apparently, fifty is back to being thirty again.

I still try to smile at the idea that a Guy Fawkes mask reminds me of my own birthday.

Thanks, mom and dad.

I said no parties for me this year and I meant it. Too much going on. My plate is full.

Our facility drill is this Friday, November 9th; details to follow.

We’ll be busing down the few who didn’t vote to the courthouse tomorrow. See or email Kelly Jean about that.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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Early to Rise and Early to Vote — Vampire Verisimilitude

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I wasn’t waiting to vote this year. I want it counted now. I want to push the damn buttons, not fill out a form.

Just a bit of a problem…

The early voting place in Glenville, West Virginia is the county courthouse on Howard Street. Their hours are 8am to 4 pm on Wednesdays, the first day of early voting.

Aaaaaaaaaand sunset is 6:31:57 pm.

This is where making a plan with my guys wins out.

I’ve mentioned before how horrible it feels to be out of my grave during the day — imagine what being dead and rotted feels like if you could still feel — in addition to the fact that direct sunlight shows me looking like a corpse to anyone who sees me. It’s cool enough for gloves and coat in the mid-sixties, but it’s partly cloudy and I’m not partial to hoodies.

Carrying an open umbrella would have looked ridiculous, but I was going to draw attention showing up no matter what I did.

I do, however, have an amazing London Fog trench coat… poppy red, my favorite color. On a whim a few months ago, I considered having a bit of fun before going all in.

Kelly Jean roused me up at 2:30 in the afternoon with a midday cup of ambition (no, not coffee) before Cole and Travis met us in the garage. As we pulled up as close to the courthouse as they’d let us, as I donned my new custom “voting cap”: a poppy-red custom wool Fedora with a sombrero-wide brim and black-buckle accent.

Sorry, Agent Carter.

Collar popped and hat pulled down, I walked inside as full-on Carmen Isabela Sandiego… and voted.

We all three did. They had me back in my crypt before four.

Have you voted? It’s important, guys.

Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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September Thoughts, Election Day, and Facility Update

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Yes, I took the summer off from regular updates… my apologies. It’s time to get back to it!

As all of you know since our little send-off party last month, our own Timothy has been working with our friend Nancy — no, that wasn’t a typo — on his special project. I spoke to him over the weekend, and he wants everyone to know he’s doing fine. Nancy sends her best, too.

Denton has also been in school at Glenville State for the last few weeks and is doing very well. Don’t tell him I told you, but I think he might be sweet on a nice young lady he met on move-in day. More on that gossip as it develops…

Thank you for maintaining your voting registration from our drive. We had 100% participation (well done!) and Kelly Jean has already made arrangements for Election Day on Tuesday, November 6 to bus everyone to the polls and minimize wait times. We’re planning something else nice for that day, too — no matter which way you vote (and no I won’t ask).

Happy Fall and just a reminder: my first and only priority is to you and our facility.

Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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A Psycho-Sexual Fetish-Driven Delusional Person

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So someone asked this question:

Who would need a psycho-sexual fetish-driven delusional person who believes they are a vampire?

I think this was in response to something I shared about “If you need me, I’ll be in my sarcophagus,” an obvious riff on the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” Beep-Me meme.

And yet, an individual immediately launched into the notion that anyone saying such a thing came per-loaded with enough baggage to keep a psychiatrist busy for decades.

My first thought was, “Dude, who pissed in your cornflakes?!”

Look… I didn’t ask for this. I’m probably as vanilla as thinkable in the bedroom (good God, I dated the same guy in high school and college) and I never eat where I sleep. Fetish? I like red — poppy red, to be exact. I own one little black dress which I’ve worn exactly twice. Okay fine: I sleep naked, but that’s because it feels safe and comfortable inside my stone box and it’s also NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Be thankful you don’t feel like death-warmed-over during the daytime, and no, it isn’t one of those “destroyed by sunlight” things. Half-truths and a lack of understanding have kept Vampires safe from non-believers for centuries, but listening to judgmental little shits over social media is more than a little annoying.

Fortunately, I don’t have to do a thing about it. You’ll keep getting older — I won’t.

Tiiiiiiiiiime, is on my side… yes it is!

But thanks for the writing prompt. You do you.

Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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Fang-Girling

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fang-girl

/ˈfaNG-ɡərl/ informal
verb
gerund or present participle: fang-girling

(of a vampire female fan) behave in an obsessive or overexcited way.
“I’m still fang-girling over this Dracula casting!”

I’m going to admit to you that Vampires have crushes like anyone else. Have you seen movies and television?

As stupid as it sounds, I think we all watch those Vampire shows; we’re not above stealing a good idea. There are also some very pretty people on them — many with very pretty throats, too (read: neck porn). My guys have caught me mesmerized thinking about my fangs sinking slowly into a thick, muscular neck or two… and it’s just as embarrassing as you’d think. Just a little. Maybe.

Like a night with both Joe Manganiello and Sofía Vergara… together. C’mon — look at them!

Just admit it: you’ve got a no-strings fantasy or three if the impossible happened and someone(s) on your top-five list were available and inexplicably willing. It’s harmless, right? Imagining the right time and place, meeting for the first time, already knowing what both of you want, as private or public as you’d like.

For the record, none of my fantasies involve anyone’s death, okay? Everyone walks away — guilt-free, of course.

Let’s not confuse this with wishing people who deserve to watch their foul blood flow out of their bodies because it solves everyone’s problem: them.

I’ve also never seen the need to combine any feeding with the actual sex — some Vampire authors appear to enjoy writing out such whimsy — but two bleeding people writhing all over each other in a bed (always with white sheets, of course) seems like such a waste. Imagine smearing food all over your face like gravy, or satisfying your thirst by putting your face in a fountain. Maybe it’s to imply an animal thing or whatever.

It’s seems inefficient, like blood-mouth. Eww.

We’re Vampires, not savages. Leave the dripping unkempt mindlessness to the zombies.

Nibbling is fine. Especially when your partner tenses up, slowly relaxing when the bite they fear is coming is sealed with a firm but gentle kiss.

I may or may not missing someone right now. Sigh. Anyway…

If you were a Vampire, ladies, who would you be fang-girling on?

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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Respect Existence or Expect Resistance — Vampire Verisimilitude

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The title of this post was paraphrased from one of my favorite posters seen during Women’s March 2.0.

Why do they always schedule these things during the day? #unfair2undead

It does, however, bring up a very good point: with all the talk of “America First” and nationalism, why does it never seem to dawn on these folks that life itself is symbiosis? We’re in this together. Quoting Anthony Douglas Williams: Not a single creature on Earth has more of less right to be here.

No one understands this more than a Vampire.

Sure, we’re equipped like the predators we are — low-light eyes, fangs, and talons — but we can’t feed one another. Guess who that leaves?

Delicious all of you.

Yes, we can take what we want… and then people would hunt us to extinction, so any benefit of having us around would be extinguished as well. You already know about the benefits.

The smarter among us ask to feed, make fair deals, and establish lasting relationships. While it may sound like a threat, Vampires are safer when satiated, and if we’re not healing from mortal combat, we need less blood to keep us docile and out of predator mode.

But if we’re denied, it’ll get bad. The longer we’re denied, the worse it’ll get — for everyone.

Again, not a threat. Just telling it like it is.

And if you’re being marginalized, shunned, moved aside, or in any way denied your right to be here (read: to exist), you need to make yourself known.

Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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No Betas Allowed — Vampire Verisimilitude

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Consider this “Myth of the Immortal Court, Part II: By the Numbers.”

I’ve mentioned before the ridiculous Mathematical Impossibility of Vampires, or what I call the Daybreakers Fallacy. In short, humans postulate Vampires cannot exist because everyone in the world would have become a bloodsucker already.

As if Vampires would let such a thing happen. We’re not zombies, we’re not stupid, and one bite does not equal Vampire.

But this brings me to a key point: supposed “immortal courts” make no sense because all Vampires are alphas and see one another as mutual enemies. So what’s the big deal with dark princes and princesses and all that? Here’s my best guess.

We all know Dracula was a Count, but that doesn’t mean all Vampires are royalty or have to be. Werewolves draw strength from packs while witches have their covens — neither of which actually exist the way you think. I’m talking about social games — role-playing, LARPs, and MMOs — where human players get to become the “monster” of their choice. Some of these attribute packs and covens to Vampires, nests and the like, implying groups of Vampires huddled together…

Except they’d destroy one another. More often than not, they do.

Anne Rice had it right — only the lonely — but White Wolf Games needed to enable everyone to play Vampires, so there had to be plenty of bloodsuckers around and reasons why they would be. I think the ones organized like mafia make the most sense; they’re at least somewhat believable.

There are about ten thousand Vampires that exist on Planet Earth with a population of 7.5 billion humans.

That’s one Vampire for every 750,000 people.

430 Vampires in the United States of America out of 323 million people.

There are perhaps eleven operating in and around New York City.

I can count the number of Vampires in West Virginia on one hand, including myself.

If such a court exists, it would be populated by ghouls: helpful empowered humans trying to avoid becoming the next meal. It would in no way be staffed with other Vampires making plans to attack or be attacked… constantly.

If you’re a Vampire, you’re an Alpha. There are no Betas and certainly no Omegas. Call it Vampire paranoia; you’re always suspicious and you’re not wrong to be. Two can tolerate one another for short periods of time — very short periods of time.

If it weren’t for social media, we’d never talk to each other safely at all.

I know what I’m talking about. Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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