Have you ever thought about a Vampire having to deal with something completely mundane?

I had to laugh at this.

We have alarms at Cedarcrest Sanctum for various reasons, not the least of which is a trespasser on the property. With the safety of our residents being paramount, we monitor for several possible emergencies, but imagine my surprise when a flooding alarm went off. As someone who sleeps deep in a hole in the ground, flooding is not high on my list of favorite things. Fortunately, the flooding was traced to a pipe that had broken due to a freeze, but we had to carry equipment down into a sub-basement to pump out the water. Truthfully, I was doing a lot of the carrying.

This got me thinking about Dracula — silly, right? For the record, there’s no such guy, but imagine he and his brides waking up one stormy evening to discover the crypt was full of water. “Egads!” he’d cry out in a thick Romanian accent (I have no idea what he’d say, so I’m rolling with this). “Quickly, my brides! Gather all the buckets and towels you can find! For the love of darkness, save the tapestries!” Then there would be burst of motion and activity as four Vampires started bailing out a crypt and moving things away from the leak to wait out the storm. Turning into a bat, he’d brave the pelting rain to survey the roof, finding the portion that had given way.

“Niña! Pinta! Santa María! Swoop down upon the unsuspecting village below the castle and use the cover of the night to snatch as many roofers as you can carry! Make all haste!” For full disclosure, I have no idea what the names of Dracula’s brides are, so I used Spanish ships — what’s he going to do, sue me for defamation of character? With the roofers secured, Dracula would use his command of the elements to make the storm over his castle stop so the roofers could fix the damage, then send them back to their village with a bag of gold each. Do you think that’d be enough to cover the workmanship plus free round-trip airfare to the castle and back?

Yes, I’m being silly, but I think the fictional King of all Vampires would be awesome at crisis management.

Keep each other safe — and dry.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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