Vampires vs. Nukes

I’m sure someone has put this into their post-apocalyptic young adult series by now, but I have to wonder with everything going on in the world:

How would Vampires fare in a nuclear holocaust?

Vampires aren’t going to survive a nuclear attack if any of us were at ground zero. Total destruction is total destruction; we’re not Wolverine or Deadpool. All the stories I can find are neo-Vampire fiefdoms or after-the-war worldbuilding details… but nothing about how Vampires survive. Has no one taken the time to think this through yet, or is that just the dull part of the story?

This means we’re really talking about everything irradiated that Vampires come into contact with, whether it be dust or people. Radiation breaks things down, but we’re already mystically animated corpses. We can take damage and can fully heal it with blood and rest; can we heal faster than our dead bodies can be cooked or corrupted?

Damage in humans isn’t just limited to being cooked alive; it’s also cancers causing unravelling DNA and abnormal cell duplication to form tumors. Vampire cells regenerate but don’t replace themselves in a biological way, so my guess is neither external nor internal fallout should be a particular danger to us.

There is the question of whether we’d retain radiation, but that still wouldn’t be a threat to Vampires specifically. That said, unless Vampires plan to hibernate underground until topsoil is safe to be planted again, we might want to consider preserving any source of sustenance, and that wouldn’t work if exposure could destroy any “willing volunteers.”

My final thought is this: unless the post-apocalyptic remnants of humanity want to trade their blood for the ever-popular Vampire protection, maybe keep your fingers off those buttons. There are far fewer of us than there are of you, but if those numbers ever flip… well, options become rather limited.

Just say no to nukes.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Twitter @JanissConnelly
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