Janiss Connelly – Cedarcrest Sanctum

Vampires vs. Nukes

March 7, 2022Leave a comment

I’m sure someone has put this into their post-apocalyptic young adult series by now, but I have to wonder with everything going on in the world:

How would Vampires fare in a nuclear holocaust?

Vampires aren’t going to survive a nuclear attack if any of us were at ground zero. Total destruction is total destruction; we’re not Wolverine or Deadpool. All the stories I can find are neo-Vampire fiefdoms or after-the-war worldbuilding details… but nothing about how Vampires survive. Has no one taken the time to think this through yet, or is that just the dull part of the story?

This means we’re really talking about everything irradiated that Vampires come into contact with, whether it be dust or people. Radiation breaks things down, but we’re already mystically animated corpses. We can take damage and can fully heal it with blood and rest; can we heal faster than our dead bodies can be cooked or corrupted?

Damage in humans isn’t just limited to being cooked alive; it’s also cancers causing unravelling DNA and abnormal cell duplication to form tumors. Vampire cells regenerate but don’t replace themselves in a biological way, so my guess is neither external nor internal fallout should be a particular danger to us.

There is the question of whether we’d retain radiation, but that still wouldn’t be a threat to Vampires specifically. That said, unless Vampires plan to hibernate underground until topsoil is safe to be planted again, we might want to consider preserving any source of sustenance, and that wouldn’t work if exposure could destroy any “willing volunteers.”

My final thought is this: unless the post-apocalyptic remnants of humanity want to trade their blood for the ever-popular Vampire protection, maybe keep your fingers off those buttons. There are far fewer of us than there are of you, but if those numbers ever flip… well, options become rather limited.

Just say no to nukes.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
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Meet Tlaloc, Our “Metal” God

March 1, 2022March 6, 2022Leave a comment

Visitors to Cedarcrest Sanctum often notice (but don’t always ask about) the metallic tiles with the weird face. Big eyes, fangs, and looking a bit South-of-the-Border.

Our founder Louisa Newcomb had many interests, one regarding Aztec culture, specifically a rain deity bearing more than a few similarities to one of our favorite longevity subjects. She was so enamored with the idea of it, she commissioned a local artist to create an image engraved into metal which was later duplicated all over our facility… a watcher, if you will.

Meet Tlaloc.

Appeased with ritual sacrifice, the god (small “g”) was both revered and feared. From the Encyclopedia Britanica:

“Tlaloc was not only highly revered, but he was also greatly feared. He could send out the rain or provoke drought and hunger. He hurled the lightning upon the earth and unleashed the devastating hurricanes. The Tlaloque, it was believed, could send down to the earth different kinds of rain, beneficent or crop-destroying.

“Certain illnesses, such as dropsy, leprosy, and rheumatism, were said to be caused by Tlaloc and his fellow deities. Although the dead were generally cremated, those who had died from one of the special illnesses or who had drowned or who had been struck by lightning were buried. Tlaloc bestowed on them an eternal and blissful life in his paradise, Tlalocan.”

While there’s no proof of an actual being by this name, the legend dates back to the third century as an agricultural deity before later being elevated into the Aztec pantheon. A preference for the blood of the young, an ability to control the elements, and eternal life bestowed upon the chosen?

Oh, and fangs.

Sounds like someone I know, but I tell everyone he’s our “metal” god.

It’s funny, damn it.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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The Lighthouse on the Hill

February 19, 2022Leave a comment

“On February 19, 1872, the state legislature put their approval on the placement of a Glenville Branch of the West Virginia Normal School. The only problem was that there would be no funding available for this. That year, the State Constitutional Convention declared that no appropriations were to be made for the establishment of any more normal schools or branches in West Virginia.

“The next April, fifty-six citizens of Gilmer County came together with funds to establish the Glenville Branch Normal School. Each of these individuals invested anywhere from five dollars to one-hundred dollars for the cause. The majority of these investments were twenty-five dollars or less. These founders were farmers, merchants, lawyers, carpenters, public officials, democrats, and republicans, but they all had one thing in common. They shared the desire to see an education system setup in their hometown. They wanted to see a Normal School at Glenville.”

(source: https://www.glenville.edu/library/archives/history)

Although Glenville State College wouldn’t be properly called that until 1943, the school has been growing for 150 years. Founders Day will be celebrated on Saturday, February 19, 2022 at the Mollohan Campus Community Center Ballroom with an Anniversary Toast held at 7:00pm. If you haven’t RSVP’d yet, rest assured you’re not invited, but I encourage you to raise a glass… wherever you are.

Why am I telling you this? Because I intend to ensure it goes on for another 150 years.

I think Sis Linn would have liked that.

Happy sesquicentennial, GSC.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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Be a Superb Owl Super Host

February 13, 2022February 19, 20221 Comment

It’s that time: to see whose owl will be crowned superb this year!

This is your annual reminder that, even if you don’t have a favorite owl — maybe you prefer ravens, eagles, or even cardinals — not to post all over social media how much you “despise owls.” It’s cool to let others enjoy things.

If you’ve been invited by like-minded enthusiasts to gather around the television to root for your favorite, remember to be friendly and civil.

Of course, you can always host your own! As suggested by USA Today and “What We Do in the Shadows,” snacks are a big part of any such celebration, so play it smart. Follow these great snack tips when planning your own party!

Keep food out of the danger zone. If someone is off limits, don’t invite them. Surprise screams tend to interrupt the event, and no one wants that.
Ensure snacks are kept at a proper temperature before serving. 98.6°F or 37°C is ideal but can vary slightly from snack to snack.
During the game, keep snacks at their proper temperatures. This is no time to be frugal with the thermostat, especially in a crypt or castle. A comfortable snack is a happy snack.
Throw out snacks that sat out the whole game. It’s a party, not a hotel stay. Why’d they even accept your invitation, anyway? Party foul.
Don’t let leftovers linger. See above. Take a hint, y’all.
Reheat your snacks thoroughly. Especially if they go outside where it’s cold. A working fireplace is great, too. A room-temperature embrace from you isn’t sufficient for staving off hypothermia, you know?

Of course, there shouldn’t be any small children present where libations are being provided. Let’s not break any local or federal laws, and please keep cleanup to a minimum.

Follow these tips, and you’re sure to be the big winner at your Superb Owl party this year!

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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Undead @ The Empty Glass

July 4, 2021February 20, 2022Leave a comment

For the uninitiated: “Daughters of Darkness” is a conversation between my neophyte self and a centuries-old immortal discussing (what else?) living forever on blood in the dark. Nancy hates that I keep doing this, yet she keeps agreeing to it… go figure.

Nancy: What forsaken place have you dragged me to this time?

Janiss: It’s called “The Empty Glass…”

N: As it says on the front. I can read, Janiss. Why here?

J: Just to change it up a little, plus they’re open past midnight.

N: Lucky us. There’s no karaoke, is there? I’ve murdered for less.

J: Oooh, such a tough Vampire! No, just “open mic night.”

N: It’s awfully small and too few exits.

J: It’s intimate. Are you already plotting your escape?

N: That depends on what the next singer-songwriter is about to inflict upon us.

The bartender brings the drinks we’ll barely touch.

N: (showing interest) What’s yours?

J: Woodchuck hard cider.

N: (dabs her finger in my pint glass and touches it to her tongue) Fruity. Barely alcoholic.

J: As if that made any difference.

N: Let’s get this over with. What’s the topic?

J: Vampire bloggers…

N: You’re not still commenting on that “mother succubus” blog, are you?

J: (smiling) Juliette’s blog, yes. “Musing’s of a modern Vampire mom.”

N: She’s not a real Vampire.

J: (shrugs) You don’t know that.

N: You have to have children to be a mom.

J: You had kids and you’re a Vampire, so what?

N: I gave birth before I was turned. Dead things don’t grow inside of dead things.

J: And yet two corpses are sitting at a table in the state capital of West “By God” Virginia pretending to drink while listening to… whatever that song is.

N: It sounds vaguely like the Ramones.

J: (gasps) You’ve heard the Ramones?

N: (trying not to smirk) I saw them live in Cleveland. They were touring with Iggy Pop. Late seventies. “Blitzkrieg Bop” sounds better when they perform it in person.

J: I’ve… got nothing.

N: So back to your living dead mom…

J: I like her. She’s sweet. She’s the kind of Vampire I try to be.

N: You mean a pretend Vampire?

J: “Character is what you are in the dark.” It’s a blog and she’s a writer. She tells cool stories, like her “Vlad’s Diary” series. And she takes care of her elders, even when they’re a bit confused about things now and then.

N: They’re Vampires too?

J: Of course.

N: Look, I know it’s fun to blur the lines like Stoker and Rice playing with the whole out-and-proud bit, but we survive upon mortal human blood. No matter how entertained people are by the idea of it, blood drinkers aren’t going to suddenly become acceptable, even if the Japanese invent TruBlood. I also don’t need to remind you how outnumbered we are.

J: It’s a spycraft thing. If people are watching for someone trying to not to be seen, don’t. Juliette’s sincere, and I like her idea of a Vampire family. Confidence works. If you look like you belong, no one thinks twice about it.

N: (smiling) I can’t remember ever being so naïve, and that’s coming from someone who remembers everything.

J: I still don’t see the harm. I work the night shift —

N: Which you don’t have to.

J: — and I’m very good at drawing blood.

N: Wink-wink, nudge-nudge. So why are you dredging this up again?

Continue reading →

Lady Bat in Her Belfry

December 22, 2020February 16, 2022Leave a comment

The day length for December 21st, 2020 was 9 hours, 26 minutes.

That also made it the longest night of the year… perfect for Vampires.

Happy Winter Solstice. I spent it on the rooftop of Cedarcrest Sanctum in my “lunarium” where I keep my telescopes. Cole refers to it as my belfry; he even hung up a little bell up to make it official. I was trying to watch the Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn crossing paths, but overcast skies are thwarted my plans to see it live. I resisted cheating the weather patterns.

In facility news, we got the first round of our COVID vaccine fully distributed to residents and staff over the weekend. It doesn’t mean we’re safe; it means the end is in sight but we have to stay vigilant, remembering to mask up and keep social distancing.

And while “that guy” has less than thirty days before eviction from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C., a new round of stimulus checks will hopefully be going out to Americans soon.

I know we’ve been lucky, and I know many have not. I also know we’re all tired of “the new normal,” but things really are looking much more hopeful than they have for a long time.

Sorry for the late post. My New Year’s Resolution is to get back to a regular blogging schedule. Things have happened and been happening — you’ll find out more about them soon.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
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Pandemic Tips Illustrated

November 1, 2020November 4, 2020Leave a comment

Anyone noticing my signature image caricature is already familiar with the work of Danny Fry. Since Cedarcrest Sanctum has been on COVID-19 lock-down since March 2020 and occupying most of my time being a creative administrator, I thought it might be fun to have Mr. Fry illustrate a series of PSAs for Humans and Vampires alike, featuring Danny’s unique take on my supernatural likeness (in my favorite London Fog trench, of course, which has curiously grown shorter over the years).

Feel free to share (as long as you use them unaltered) and please link them back to us at CedarcrestSanctum.com if you like. I hope these will help make these reminders a little more memorable.

God, yes, I know we’re over all this. “COVID” fatigue isn’t fake news, but if everything we currently know is accurate, rest homes and long-term elderly care aren’t the only places that will be put to the test before a real vaccine is ready. It may be up to a year from now before things will return to some semblance of normalcy.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

Three Takeaways of the 2020 Quarantine

March 29, 2020Leave a comment

To all of Cedarcrest: good day.

Janiss here.

On Tuesday, March 10th, 2020, our facility closed its gates in an effort to protect our residents and staff.

Some of our staffers have family… family we can’t maintain on-site. On a voluntary basis (and in some cases with applicable compensation), most have chosen to stay with us while a few on the outside continue to support us. This is fine for singles and those whose kids are grown and support themselves, but it’s far harder when you have others depending on you that aren’t part of your paying job, so no judgment. Happily, we’ve worked through all of those situations.

I, of course, will stay on-site for the duration.

That said, there are three key takeaways the 2020 Quarantine makes abundantly clear.

First, for everyone in the West Virginia state legislature and in the United States congress, let me be clear: a $15 minimum wage is the LEAST you could do for what you’re all now calling “essentials services.” From truckers to utility workers and every grocery store employee, stop penalizing people from making a living wage just because “they could do better and should only be paid accordingly.” Yes, we’re all dependent upon the medical field and hospital workers (who are risking their lives trying to keep the citizenry alive and hospitals from being overwhelmed), but we all need to stop looking down at “mere” restaurant workers and begin seeing so-called entry-level work as a potential career choice instead of an unworthy stepping stone of shame.

Second, the Internet must be seen as a utility and the essential service it is. Especially in states like West Virginia where shady companies promise the moon, take your money, and provide no service while threatening to fine those who quit services they’re not even getting because of questionable contracts. Information, education, and the economy itself have been uploaded, and those without reach are being left behind. When the only way to get your paycheck and spend it is through “a hand-held talisman with a magical connection to a ghost tower” be effective, forget all that Net Neutrality stuff; like water and power, the ‘Net is now essential for survival.

Third, it’s time for tribalism to end. I’m not talking about Progressives and Conservatives or Elephants and Donkeys; I’m talking about seeing the Planet Earth for what it is: a living organism. While even my own parents complained about the Unites States being “the World’s Police Force,” there was a certain truth to it and a need for it. If a war breaks out, Americans can help keep it from spilling out into another country… or a bad actor from using the opportunity to expand into that region. But it should be clear by now to everyone (no matter who you voted for) that hiding behind a wall and wishing nothing gets through it is futile and foolish. Viruses don’t care about politics, borders, or economic status; they just want to infect another host and move on to the next… and that includes our country of residence. Helping others helps ourselves, even if it wasn’t already the right thing to do.

We’ll survive this. We can even thrive from it. For now, we have to limit the damage being done to buy the precious time needed to keep COVID-19 contained until the spread can be halted.

Hang in there, guys.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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COVID-19 and Program Update

March 10, 2020March 14, 2020Leave a comment

To all of Cedarcrest: good evening.

Janiss here.

As prior bulletins were distributed door-to-door in addition to being reposted in high-traffic areas, a few of you continue ask basic questions we’ve already answered. Going forward, check your email… yes, including you, Mr. Johnson.

With regards to all the conspiracy theories going around, here’s what the world outside of Cedarcrest knows according to the CDC:

“Currently there are no medications to treat or vaccines to prevent COVID-19. Therefore, community approaches to slowing transmission including appropriate hand hygiene, cough etiquette, social distancing, and reducing face-to-face contact with potential COVID-19 cases are needed to slow disease transmission and reduce the number of people who get sick.”

Source: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/healthcare-facilities/guidance-hcf.html

Obviously, Cedarcrest doesn’t have this issue — you’re welcome — but the problem is currently one of transmission. As you know, the Program suspends symptoms while preserving the host, meaning if anyone becomes infected, something communicable could still be passed to any visitors because of the two-week incubation period. Again, from the CDC:

The virus is thought to spread mainly from person-to-person.

Between people who are in close contact with one another (within about 6 feet).
Through respiratory droplets produced when an infected person coughs or sneezes.
These droplets can land in the mouths or noses of people who are nearby or possibly be inhaled into the lungs.

Anyone in the Program will not be allowed close or direct contact with outsiders for the immediate future unless a direct exception is filed and approved and a Team protocol implemented… yes, including me. All visitors are encouraged to use “facetime” and other digital communications media, up to and including our GSC volunteers. Unfortunately, this also means our mall trips and other outings are postponed for the time being.

Here’s the good news: there isn’t any more bad news. All facilities are open to you as always, and if there’s something we’re all interested in, our creative manager Kelly Jean will do her level best to figure it out. Oh, and of this memo, WV has no documented cases… yet.

We’re also well-stocked in toiletries and hand soap — before anyone asks.

Also of interest, May 12, 2020 is Primary Election Day here in West Virginia. Early and absentee ballots will be available, and if COVID-19 is still an issue at that time, we’ll figure it out before then. The following site has additional information:

https://sos.wv.gov/elections/Pages/GoVoteWV.aspx

Addendum: 17-year-old Avi Schiffmann in Seattle, Washington created a tracking site to see the numbers in real time: https://ncov2019.live/data. While I don’t advocate staring at escalating numbers and worrying, there is an encouraging number there as well: Total Recovered… and that’s a great thing.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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