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Cedarcrest Sanctum – The Matriarch Vampires

~ By Kevin A. Ranson

Cedarcrest Sanctum – The Matriarch Vampires

Tag Archives: Janiss Connelly

Lady Bat in Her Belfry

22 Tuesday Dec 2020

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Vampire Verisimilitude

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#theMatriarchVampires, Cedarcrest Sanctum, Janiss Connelly, Longest Night of the Year, Vampire Verisimilitude, Winter Solstice

The day length for December 21st, 2020 was 9 hours, 26 minutes.

That also made it the longest night of the year… perfect for Vampires.

Happy Winter Solstice. I spent it on the rooftop of Cedarcrest Sanctum in my “lunarium” where I keep my telescopes. Cole refers to it as my belfry; he even hanging a little bell up to make it official. I was trying to watch the Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn crossing paths, but overcast skies are thwarted my plans to see it live. I resisted cheating the weather patterns.

In facility news, we got the first round of our COVID vaccine fully distributed to residents and staff over the weekend. It doesn’t mean we’re safe; it means the end is in sight but we have to stay vigilant, remembering to mask up and keep social distancing.

And while “that guy” has less than thirty days before eviction from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C., a new round of stimulus checks will hopefully be going out to Americans soon.

I know we’ve been lucky, and I know many have not. I also know we’re all tired of “the new normal,” but things really are looking much more hopeful than they have for a long time.

Sorry for the late post. My New Year’s Resolution is to get back to a regular blogging schedule. Things have happened and been happening — you’ll find out more about them soon.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

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Pandemic Tips Illustrated

01 Sunday Nov 2020

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Official Correspondence

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Cedarcrest Sanctum, COVID-19, Danny Fry, Janiss Connelly, PSA, social distance, stay at home, Vampire cough, wear a mask

Anyone noticing my signature image caricature is already familiar with the work of Danny Fry. Since Cedarcrest Sanctum has been on COVID-19 lock-down since March 2020 and occupying most of my time being a creative administrator, I thought it might be fun to have Mr. Fry illustrate a series of PSAs for Humans and Vampires alike, featuring Danny’s unique take on my supernatural likeness (in my favorite London Fog trench, of course, which has curiously grown shorter over the years).

Feel free to share (as long as you use them unaltered) and please link them back to us at CedarcrestSanctum.com if you like. I hope these will help make these reminders a little more memorable.

God, yes, I know we’re over all this. “COVID” fatigue isn’t fake news, but if everything we currently know is accurate, rest homes and long-term elderly care aren’t the only places that will be put to the test before a real vaccine is ready. It may be up to a year from now before things will return to some semblance of normalcy.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

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Three Takeaways of the 2020 Quarantine

29 Sunday Mar 2020

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Official Correspondence

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2020 Quarantine, Cedarcrest Sanctum, congress, essential service, Internet, Janiss Connelly, Planet Earth, politics, state legislature, takeaways. minimum wage, tribalism, United States, utility, West Virginia

To all of Cedarcrest: good day.

Janiss here.

On Tuesday, March 10th, 2020, our facility closed its gates in an effort to protect our residents and staff.

Some of our staffers have family… family we can’t maintain on-site. On a voluntary basis (and in some cases with applicable compensation), most have chosen to stay with us while a few on the outside continue to support us. This is fine for singles and those whose kids are grown and support themselves, but it’s far harder when you have others depending on you that aren’t part of your paying job, so no judgment. Happily, we’ve worked through all of those situations.

I, of course, will stay on-site for the duration.

That said, there are three key takeaways the 2020 Quarantine makes abundantly clear.

First, for everyone in the West Virginia state legislature and in the United States congress, let me be clear: a $15 minimum wage is the LEAST you could do for what you’re all now calling “essentials services.” From truckers to utility workers and every grocery store employee, stop penalizing people from making a living wage just because “they could do better and should only be paid accordingly.” Yes, we’re all dependent upon the medical field and hospital workers (who are risking their lives trying to keep the citizenry alive and hospitals from being overwhelmed), but we all need to stop looking down at “mere” restaurant workers and begin seeing so-called entry-level work as a potential career choice instead of an unworthy stepping stone of shame.

Second, the Internet must be seen as a utility and the essential service it is. Especially in states like West Virginia where shady companies promise the moon, take your money, and provide no service while threatening to fine those who quit services they’re not even getting because of questionable contracts. Information, education, and the economy itself have been uploaded, and those without reach are being left behind. When the only way to get your paycheck and spend it is through “a hand-held talisman with a magical connection to a ghost tower” be effective, forget all that Net Neutrality stuff; like water and power, the ‘Net is now essential for survival.

Third, it’s time for tribalism to end. I’m not talking about Progressives and Conservatives or Elephants and Donkeys; I’m talking about seeing the Planet Earth for what it is: a living organism. While even my own parents complained about the Unites States being “the World’s Police Force,” there was a certain truth to it and a need for it. If a war breaks out, Americans can help keep it from spilling out into another country… or a bad actor from using the opportunity to expand into that region. But it should be clear by now to everyone (no matter who you voted for) that hiding behind a wall and wishing nothing gets through it is futile and foolish. Viruses don’t care about politics, borders, or economic status; they just want to infect another host and move on to the next… and that includes our country of residence. Helping others helps ourselves, even if it wasn’t already the right thing to do.

We’ll survive this. We can even thrive from it. For now, we have to limit the damage being done to buy the precious time needed to keep COVID-19 contained until the spread can be halted.

Hang in there, guys.

Trust me; I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

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COVID-19 and Program Update

10 Tuesday Mar 2020

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Official Correspondence

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Tags

CDC, Cedarcrest Sanctum, COVID-19, Election Day, Janiss Connelly

COVID-19-CDC-2020

To all of Cedarcrest: good evening.

Janiss here.

As prior bulletins were distributed door-to-door in addition to being reposted in high-traffic areas, a few of you continue ask basic questions we’ve already answered. Going forward, check your email… yes, including you, Mr. Johnson.

With regards to all the conspiracy theories going around, here’s what the world outside of Cedarcrest knows according to the CDC:

“Currently there are no medications to treat or vaccines to prevent COVID-19. Therefore, community approaches to slowing transmission including appropriate hand hygiene, cough etiquette, social distancing, and reducing face-to-face contact with potential COVID-19 cases are needed to slow disease transmission and reduce the number of people who get sick.”

Source: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/healthcare-facilities/guidance-hcf.html

Obviously, Cedarcrest doesn’t have this issue — you’re welcome — but the problem is currently one of transmission. As you know, the Program suspends symptoms while preserving the host, meaning if anyone becomes infected, something communicable could still be passed to any visitors because of the two-week incubation period. Again, from the CDC:

The virus is thought to spread mainly from person-to-person.

  • Between people who are in close contact with one another (within about 6 feet).
  • Through respiratory droplets produced when an infected person coughs or sneezes.
  • These droplets can land in the mouths or noses of people who are nearby or possibly be inhaled into the lungs.

Anyone in the Program will not be allowed close or direct contact with outsiders for the immediate future unless a direct exception is filed and approved and a Team protocol implemented… yes, including me. All visitors are encouraged to use “facetime” and other digital communications media, up to and including our GSC volunteers. Unfortunately, this also means our mall trips and other outings are postponed for the time being.

Here’s the good news: there isn’t any more bad news. All facilities are open to you as always, and if there’s something we’re all interested in, our creative manager Kelly Jean will do her level best to figure it out. Oh, and of this memo, WV has no documented cases… yet.

We’re also well-stocked in toiletries and hand soap — before anyone asks.

Also of interest, May 12, 2020 is Primary Election Day here in West Virginia. Early and absentee ballots will be available, and if COVID-19 is still an issue at that time, we’ll figure it out before then. The following site has additional information:

https://sos.wv.gov/elections/Pages/GoVoteWV.aspx

Addendum: 17-year-old Avi Schiffmann in Seattle, Washington created a tracking site to see the numbers in real time: https://ncov2019.live/data. While I don’t advocate staring at escalating numbers and worrying, there is an encouraging number there as well: Total Recovered… and that’s a great thing.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Tumblr janissconnelly.tumblr.com
Discus @justjaniss

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An Old-Time Allegheny Christmas – Daughters of Darkness

22 Sunday Dec 2019

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Daughters of Darkness

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Tags

#theMatriarchVampires, Allegheny, Cedarcrest Sanctum, Christmas, Daughters of Darkness, Janiss Connelly, vampires

From three years ago… enjoy!

Cedarcrest Sanctum - The Matriarch Vampires

Note: this conversation originally took place on the evening of Wednesday, December 21st — the 2016 Winter Solstice.


2016daughtersofdarknessJaniss: We’re back for another evening of hot cocoa and immortal talk. Say hello, Nancy.

Nancy: (long sigh) Hello.

J: It’s the longest night of the year, and you’ve chosen to spend at least a little of it with me — thank you.

N: Free drinks, yes?

J: I pay for those.

N: Free for me, then. (sips) What topic have you chosen?

J: Christmas, of course.

N: Very appropriate. (gestures at all the decorations and shoppers, then at her themed cup) Continue.

J: (leans forward) Do you celebrate it?

N: (raises an eyebrow)

J: Come on, you can’t tell me you’ve never been swayed by the Christmas spirit. Not once in three centuries?

N: I most often choose to spend it alone not killing anyone.

J: Isn’t that how you spend…

View original post 1,089 more words

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The Longest Night of the Year — Vampire Verisimilitude

22 Sunday Dec 2019

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Official Correspondence, Vampire Verisimilitude

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#theMatriarchVampires, Janiss Connelly, the Matriarch Vampires, Vampire Verisimilitude, vampires

Happy Winter Solstice to all! That was yesterday technically — last night for me — but I prefer to think my heart is still in the right place.

This post is going to sound cryptic, so fair warning.

Things have changed. No, I can’t go into details about it, and yes, it has something to do with our last evacuation drill.

On a sad note, we lost one of our own. On a positive note, others are now safe, even if we don’t know where they are.

I warned you it was cryptic.

Yes, I’m fine, for those who’ve been asking.

As we draw closer to Christmas and the New Year, here’s another reminder from your executive administrator and the entire staff of Cedarcrest Sanctum that to make the most of the time you have with the people you love, especially since none of us know how long that may be.

Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Tumblr janissconnelly.tumblr.com
Google+ JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

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Thirty is the New Eternity

05 Monday Nov 2018

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Official Correspondence

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Tags

birthday, Cedarcrest Sanctum, drill, Janiss Connelly

Thirty is the new twenty. Forty is the new thirty. Apparently, fifty is back to being thirty again.

I still try to smile at the idea that a Guy Fawkes mask reminds me of my own birthday.

Thanks, mom and dad.

I said no parties for me this year and I meant it. Too much going on. My plate is full.

Our facility drill is this Friday, November 9th; details to follow.

We’ll be busing down the few who didn’t vote to the courthouse tomorrow. See or email Kelly Jean about that.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Tumblr janissconnelly.tumblr.com
Google+ JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

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Early to Rise and Early to Vote — Vampire Verisimilitude

25 Thursday Oct 2018

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Vampire Verisimilitude

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Agent Carter, Carmen Sandiego, early voting, Janiss Connelly, Vampire Verisimilitude, vote

I wasn’t waiting to vote this year. I want it counted now. I want to push the damn buttons, not fill out a form.

Just a bit of a problem…

The early voting place in Glenville, West Virginia is the county courthouse on Howard Street. Their hours are 8am to 4 pm on Wednesdays, the first day of early voting.

Aaaaaaaaaand sunset is 6:31:57 pm.

This is where making a plan with my guys wins out.

I’ve mentioned before how horrible it feels to be out of my grave during the day — imagine what being dead and rotted feels like if you could still feel — in addition to the fact that direct sunlight shows me looking like a corpse to anyone who sees me. It’s cool enough for gloves and coat in the mid-sixties, but it’s partly cloudy and I’m not partial to hoodies.

Carrying an open umbrella would have looked ridiculous, but I was going to draw attention showing up no matter what I did.

I do, however, have an amazing London Fog trench coat… poppy red, my favorite color. On a whim a few months ago, I considered having a bit of fun before going all in.

Kelly Jean roused me up at 2:30 in the afternoon with a midday cup of ambition (no, not coffee) before Cole and Travis met us in the garage. As we pulled up as close to the courthouse as they’d let us, as I donned my new custom “voting cap”: a poppy-red custom wool Fedora with a sombrero-wide brim and black-buckle accent.

Sorry, Agent Carter.

Collar popped and hat pulled down, I walked inside as full-on Carmen Isabela Sandiego… and voted.

We all three did. They had me back in my crypt before four.

Have you voted? It’s important, guys.

Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Tumblr janissconnelly.tumblr.com
Google+ JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

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September Thoughts, Election Day, and Facility Update

06 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Official Correspondence

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Cedarcest Sanctum, Election Day, Fall, Janiss Connelly, Kelly Jean, November 6, September, Timothy, update, voting

Yes, I took the summer off from regular updates… my apologies. It’s time to get back to it!

As all of you know since our little send-off party last month, our own Timothy has been working with our friend Nancy — no, that wasn’t a typo — on his special project. I spoke to him over the weekend, and he wants everyone to know he’s doing fine. Nancy sends her best, too.

Denton has also been in school at Glenville State for the last few weeks and is doing very well. Don’t tell him I told you, but I think he might be sweet on a nice young lady he met on move-in day. More on that gossip as it develops…

Thank you for maintaining your voting registration from our drive. We had 100% participation (well done!) and Kelly Jean has already made arrangements for Election Day on Tuesday, November 6 to bus everyone to the polls and minimize wait times. We’re planning something else nice for that day, too — no matter which way you vote (and no I won’t ask).

Happy Fall and just a reminder: my first and only priority is to you and our facility.

Trust me — I’m a Vampire.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Tumblr janissconnelly.tumblr.com
Google+ JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

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Buffy the Discount Vampire Slayer — Vampire Verisimilitude

30 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by Janiss Connelly in Vampire Verisimilitude

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Braxton county, Buffy, Glenville, Happy New Year, Janiss Connelly, Mountain State, Route 5, the Matriarch Vampires, Vampire Slayer, vampires

Let me explain why I was late.

I was still on the Braxton County side of Route 5 heading toward Glenville when I saw this old Toyota pickup on the roadside with hazards on and the hood up. I normally wouldn’t have stopped except for this tiny little blonde shivering in a ripped blue winter coat. We all know I’m not supposed to, but I couldn’t leave her out there cold and alone on the last week of December, right? The truck had paper plates, so I figured it was just a breakdown.

Yes, it was the middle of the night and, yes, I was a little thirsty, but that isn’t the point.

I parked behind the truck, left my lights on, and walked up to her. She was five-nothing, twenty-ish, and slight; I’m average but I still felt twice her size. Her eyes looked huge as she looked up to me, heavy night makeup and all. No tears, though.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “Do you need me to call someone?”

“You shouldn’t have,” she said, sounding both shocked and angry. “Look at you. Why the hell would you stop? You don’t know us.”

“Us” turned out to include a beastly broad-shouldered guy with a face-full of black fur who thought he was sneaking up, and by sneaking I meant stamping around like a buck. He’d come down the hill behind my Kia Soul, opened the driver’s door and switched off my headlights.

So, yeah: trap.

“We’ll need those keys in your pocket, too,” the man said. I turned my back on the woman and stared him down, catching him poking around in my purse. He was about the size of Travis but looked more like evil Travis, standing and staring like he dared me to do something.

“And if I tell you to put my purse back and walk away?” I kept my tone even with maybe a hint of sarcasm. He didn’t look sure he was ready for a reaction like that.

“Would you prefer a hole in your spine?” the woman said behind me, cocking the hammer back on what sounded like a good-sized revolver and poking my back with it. I didn’t feel like having a hole in my coat any more than hiding bodies, but I wasn’t letting them get away with it, either. When I didn’t immediately react, she added, “It ain’t worth your life, lady. Why the hell did you stop?”

As I felt her hand plunge into my coat pocket to fish for my key fob, Evil Travis stepped toward me. Decision time: if I stepped aside as the trigger was pulled, he’d get a gut shot instead of me and it’d serve him right, but I also didn’t feel like filing a police report. Instead, I waited for an opportunity. When she found the fob, Evil Travis grinned.

“Who loves ya, baby?” she asked, tossing my keys toward him.

“You do, Buffy,” he replied, doing his worst Elvis impersonation as he reached out to catch them…

But this Vampire wasn’t going to be robbed by a blonde named Buffy.

As the guy started to get back into my vehicle, Buffy put her free hand on my shoulder, presumably to guide me somewhere while keeping me at gunpoint. As she touched me, I quick-grabbed her wrist and yanked her around faster than she had any hope of avoiding. Her hand cannon didn’t go off as I slammed her back against the ground; the weapon was a .38 Special — Kelly Jean owned one. I took it without resistance.

Evil Travis froze when he saw I had the gun, but seeing me empty the bullets into my hand emboldened him to rush me. I admit I couldn’t resist inflicting him with a good pistol whip when he lunged; it must have made him feel small. When he recovered and turned toward me again, I stopped him with a single word.

My pint-sized nemesis, on the other hand, gasped for air; I’d knocked the wind out of her. I waited as she recovered, something that clearly made her antsy along with Huck’s sudden compliance. She probably wondered why wasn’t I beating her ass down or running away. Short answer: I had questions.

“What did you do to Huck?” Buffy finally gasped.

“He’ll live. Why are you two out here rolling travelers after midnight? Is this even your truck?”

She nodded. “What… what did you–”

“He’ll be fine. Why are you doing this?”

Buffy eyeballed me. I guess she couldn’t get past the idea I was even asking about them. “We’re going to Florida to start over. To be together.”

“From where?”

“Bobtown. Pennsylvania.”

I remembered it being a small town right over the West Virginia border, plus they were too old to be runaways. “Why are you robbing people? Have you ever done this before?”

“Huck’s dad cut off his credit card. We can’t buy food or gas.” Buffy looked at Huck. “Are you calling the cops? We weren’t going to hurt you, I swear.”

Said the woman who pulled a loaded gun on me and tried to steal my Soul. “Where in Florida?”

“Jacksonville.” She looked hard at me. “You’re so calm about this. Were you really going to help us? Women don’t do that — never when they’re alone.”

“Give me your driver’s licenses.” As I took pics of them with my phone, I noticed there was no cell signal; they’d picked a dead spot on a curve in case someone tried to call for help. Maybe not so dumb.

I commanded Huck to face the hillside, watching Buffy looking horrified at his zombie-like compliance while I snagged some money from my purse. “Look at me, Buffy.” She did. “I’m buying your gun for three hundred dollars. You and Huck are driving straight to Florida except for gassing up and eating. I know folks in law enforcement, and if I even think you didn’t go to Jacksonville, I’ll tell them everything you tried with me including giving them your gun. Are we good?” I returned their IDs to her along with the promised cash.

She looked both shocked and confused. “Why? After all this you’re still going to help us? Who are you?”

“Everyone should get a second chance,” I said before vamping out: black eyes and full fangs while lifting her chin with the tip of my taloned finger. “Also, the Mountain State is under my protection and I want you out of it. If I ever see either of you here again, I’ll bury you alive and paint ‘Here Lies Buffy’ on your headstone in Huck’s blood. Got me?”

“Yes, ma’am.” At least she was polite.

I told Huck to sleep for an hour before forgetting everything that happened back at the road after I got there, so only Buffy would know. I watched her turn their truck around and followed them back to I-79 to ensure they turned south before I came home.

—

In our training room under the Longevity Studies Building, Eric, Cole, and Travis looked appalled.

“That’s where you were?” Eric asked. “You’re not supposed to stop out there except in an emergency. That’s your rule.”

“It was an emergency,” I replied, still exhilarated over the entire incident. “Or I thought it was. It was seven degrees out there.”

“Plus you should have called us,” Cole added.

“Without a cell signal? I think I mentioned that.” I couldn’t believe they didn’t get it. “And?”

Eric wasn’t buying it. “And not one other car passed by on that road while a gun was being waved at you?”

Travis looked devastated. “Evil Travis? You think I’m evil?”

“I said he ‘looked like’ an evil you. You guys are all missing the point…”

Cole smirked. “That only a fool would give a couple of thieves three hundred bucks?” All three nodded at that. “Where’s the gun?”

“I gave it to Kelly Jean. You think I’m making this up?”

“Show us the license pictures,” Travis added. “I want to see what this fake-me really looks like.”

“Seriously, guys! Think about it: I met Buffy the Vampire Slayer and lived to tell the tale! Where are my props?”

Happy New Year, guys.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Tumblr janissconnelly.tumblr.com
Google+ JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

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