Dear, Dr. Karl — may I call you that?
An article was brought to my attention earlier this week that both amused and gnawed at me: How long would it take a vampire to drain you of blood?
It’s not a bad read, but, well…hmm. It appears you’re omitting details to fit your revelations rather than follow logic to reach a fair conclusion. I won’t call these facts — that would require more evidence than I’m willing to provide — but I thought you might be interested in a more authoritative opinion.
First off: Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, Sherlock Holmes, and Dracula appear frequently as characters because they’re in the public domain and free to use. Just an FYI.
It’s true that a victim won’t fall immediately unconscious, but you’re neglecting the amount of blood a vampire needs to survive and how frequently they need it. Single pints (standard units of blood) are donated all the time at the Red Cross with few ever passing out; would it surprise you to know that a Vampire can subsist on as little as this each night? Sure, they may be a bit irritable and need much more if they’re healing from a grievous wound, but it’s enough. Ideally, three pints are more than adequate — three meals a night, if you prefer — and no one needs to die. If a Vampire chooses to feed once and get on with their evening, a victim could still survive this even if they pass out (and they certainly would).
As far as the time needed to “drain” the victim? Let’s substitute in the words “feed upon” and not squeeze out victims like tubes of toothpaste. It’s hilarious to assume Vampires rely only upon arterial pressure when they can SUCK YOUR BLOOD. Easy in-home experiment! Fill a pint glass with ice first and then add your favorite liquid candy (read: soda pop) to the brim, then see which way you can drink all of the liquid faster: pouring it down or sucking it out through a straw. Get it? Good…moving on.
Playing down the romantic angle for a moment, Vampires can mesmerize their victims. You knew that, right? What may look like willing submission doesn’t have to be, but a smart Vampire will find willing donors they can come back to. Bodies stacking up can be a problem, and anyone who watches “Forensic Files” knows how hard it is to disappear bodies in many places. Why bother? It’s not laziness, it’s efficiency.
“Being set on the pathway of becoming a Vampire” just because they were bitten? This is probably the biggest assumption and fallacy of these so-called exposés. If that were true, we’d be up to our armpits in bloodsucking undead by now. No, turning is an intentional thing, and it isn’t guaranteed, either. Like an elected procedure where the human body is being subjected to a massive trauma or change, things can go south in a hurry and all you’ll have left is a corpse to dispose of (see above).
Having shot down the “zombie theory” that being bitten turns a victim every time, this also kills the grade-school penny-doubling math-calc that wipes out the human race in thirty-four months. To be fair, Daybreakers was a fun movie about exactly that scenario (all except for the hilarious “cure” part), but the other factor missing is Vampires actively destroying one another competing for that blood bank. Did you think being turned made you instant friends? Nope, because Vampire are alpha predators, not pack-loving werewolves. In the same way killing off your food supply is bad for business, allowing other Vampires to roam your fiefdom is a signal to all that you’re either foolish or vulnerable.
In those films where all the monsters come out together, which one is usually in charge? Top answer: the Vampire.
That’s because Vampires are smart…VERY smart.
Remember that the next time you reveal “big lies about the bite” as far as Vampires are concerned.
They’ll be watching…and so will I.
Love your show!
~ Janiss
Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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None of our residents have parents still living, and while many hold out hope that their sons or daughters might call, this usually isn’t the case. We’ll be doing something for all of them later this evening — as we do every year.
Our town of Glenville, West Virginia, is small — a little over 1,500 people — but unlike much of The Mountain State, the population is increasing. Glenville State College has expanded, like the Waco Center that opened a few years back providing a field house for the college and the county — so named for the significant donations made by Waco Oil & Gas founders Ike and Sue Morris (names that are hard to avoid in these parts). My grandparents enjoyed the weekly publications of 
As an amateur stargazer thinking light years outside of the box, what are the possibilities of life (as we know it) developing on Earth at this time, tucked into this solar system sweet spot, where the balance of infinite variables allow all of us to exist? The more you think about it, the more the idea that all of this is chance or happenstance goes way down.
“Penny Dreadful” – I was hooked from the very first season. It’s actually refreshing all of the Vampires are bad guys (read: “True Blood” got silly), but Ethan Chandler played by Josh Hartnett makes me wish werewolves were real…and that I could have 
“Supernatural” – The Winchester brothers and Castiel. I’m good.
“iZombie” – If I only had one show to watch forever and ever, this is my go-to choice addiction right now. I need a girlfriend like Rose McIver in my life, but for now I enjoy thinking of Liv Moore as a shadowy reflection for myself. I also love Ravi, Blaine (in spite of himself), and Clive. Any episode of this program will have you laughing, crying, and thrilled at the same time. I even forgive all the Vampire tropes they stole to make zombies cool again.
You only live once; there’s no time like the present; don’t put off until tomorrow what you can blah, blah, blah.
Sometimes they use names like Dracula, Lestat, Carmilla, or some other literary undead character. They may further claim they are old or even ancient…you know, however far back their social media settings will allow them to go. The bad part, however, is some folks argue and/or DEMAND that other users treat them as the real deal — even if the other users aren’t role-playing. My favorites are the ones trying to be mysterious using cryptic phases like “you don’t know me” or “pray we never meet.”
What is revealed in the film is not only how many such incidents are swept under the ivy branches but the motivations for doing so. Protecting students is secondary to protecting the integrity of the institution — everyone is told to be silent. This is fundamentally wrong, but it also fails to warn new students of the danger they are walking into.
Cedarcrest Sanctum 