Vampire Verisimilitude: “Do you sleep in a coffin?”

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignatureJaniss here again, and with a new question. Do vampires sleep in a coffin, me specifically?

We’re going there, huh?

This is actually two questions. First of all, vampires don’t sleep – much to my surprise – and I have confirmed this with other vampires. No sleep, nada, nothing, zip. It’s more like rest than sleep. That feeling you get right when you wake up and try to go back to sleep but really can’t? It feels like that coupled with staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. Did that make sense?

Pink Floyd invented a great phrase for it: “comfortably numb.”

Let me start again. When the sun is up, when sunlight is touching the ground, vampires stop simulating life the way we do at night. We feel undead, like the actual living dead, as if you’re dead and can still feel it. The heart stops – a damnably freaky feeling – and you stop breathing reflexively. It hurts but it also feels wrong; you crave the earth, wanting to be interred, as if you belong there. Once you’re in, all that weird goes away and then the numbness comes about. We can feel the sun moving across the sky, even at night when its hidden. Make no mistake: we know instinctively when the sun rises and sets.

Now, back to the coffin thing. No! In fact, we prefer the cold ground and to be in as close contact with it as possible, and completely below the surface of the ground. A few of those old movies got it right: going after a vampire during the daytime seems like a good idea, but disturbing one while they’re interred isn’t going to catch them unaware…it’s going to piss them off.

So, to recap: I don’t sleep in a coffin because I don’t actually sleep. Even if I’m resting, it still isn’t inside of a coffin. And no, I don’t give tours of my crypt, Mr. Johnson.

Great questions! Can’t wait to read the next one…mostly.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

@JanissConnelly on Twitter