Bloodsucking Lawyers and Washington Undead – Vampire Verisimilitude

VotedSticker2016 is an election year. This is the first you’ve probably heard about all this, right?

“…the only one I’ve got on my side is the bloodsucking lawyer!”

My dad used to say lawyers are the larval stage of politicians. Have you ever wondered if there are any Vampires who moonlight as professional lawyers or politicians?

Short answer: nope.

No Vampire right in the head wants a job that puts them in the public spotlight (restricting their movements) or requires daylight hours (a tricky prospect under the best of conditions). Does that mean the interests of Vampires aren’t represented? Who speaks for the Undead?

To put representation into perspective, a quick refresher. There are less than 500 Vampires within the continental United States; even if you lumped them all into one small town, that would be one-third of the population of Glenville, WV — and if such a thing ever came to pass, there would be only about half a dozen left before sunrise (we infamously don’t get along in close quarters).

TrueBloodAVLIn terms of representation, it isn’t necessary for Vampires. In the HBO “True Blood” series, Vampires campaigned for the rights of the Undead with opponents making claims that wills and property legally didn’t apply to creatures that rose from the grave. The AVL — the American Vampire League — fought to get changes made so that known Vampires could enjoy the same rights and benefits they had in life. Crazy, right? It was a footnote in the TV show, but it also makes a lot of sense; there’s plenty of history in the US and around the world where significant portions of the population have been told they have no rights — that they aren’t really people — no more significant to be represented than would animals.

We want what you want: safety, prosperity, and peace — what ANYBODY wants, free to do as we like and rights that end at the next person’s nose. It shouldn’t matter what you eat (unless you’re a murderer), how you live your life (unless you impose upon others against their will), or who you spend time with and how (consenting adult being consenting adults). Fortunately, there are few enough of us that we can help ourselves within the system, appointed positions that remain in-office year after year while elected officials all have to keep being re-elected. If we’re not represented fairly, that individual will be forcibly removed from office if they refuse to step down…or so I’m told. It works for us.

The living, however, can’t take those kinds of chances and don’t have forever.

In other words: VOTE if you are eligible.

Dracula2016VoteDon’t assume everyone else will do it for you. Voter turn-out is a problem; in 2012, only 129 million people voted for the US President, less than half of those eligible among the 314 million population of the country. That means if everyone who didn’t vote all decided to vote for someone else, none of the front-runners on that election would have stood a chance.

500 Vampires can’t make a difference in US politics…nor do we have to.

But if YOU can, then you should. After all, you’re the ones who have to live with it.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly


4 thoughts on “Bloodsucking Lawyers and Washington Undead – Vampire Verisimilitude

  1. Juliette Kings

    I’ve covered this as well. Hey, if you’re a vampire and you pay taxes you might as well vote too. Nobody is going to know you’re kind of sort of dead, at least their definition of dead. Half the people running (national or local office) are more our less dead or ghouls. Plus we’re (vampires) are on the top of the food chain. And if you don’t vote at least we can get one of our own in a key spot like Chief of Staff or Spin Doctor. You’d make a great Spin Doctor. Great post. If you can vote then do it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Janiss Connelly

      Oh, I never said I wasn’t voting, just that there’s nothing a politician could offer us nor anything our vote would influence. Besides, we already have a Washington “insider” to ensure nothing about us ever needs to come up in any vote. And yes: everyone should vote, even if the polling places have questionable methods of determining who is or isn’t alive.

      Also, Juliette, would you mind posting a link here to your previous electoral post? I’d love to read that and I’m sure I’m not alone.

      Liked by 1 person

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