Updates

I took a holiday last weekend, so let’s jump back into it, shall we?

Mr. Benson asks, “How does that whole Lugosi eyes-behind-the-cape hypnosis thing work?” I used the exact wording to your question because I love how you asked it, Charlie. This is one fact that both television and movies get wrong all the time (NBC’s “Dracula,” anyone?)

I’ll begin with the first thought that pops into my head: I DESPISE the ability. I hate it and everything about it. Surprised? It’s in no way fair to anyone that there are creatures who can look at you, speak as little as a word, and steal your mind. Full disclosure: it’s also how I wound up in this mess to begin with.

It doesn’t even seem to really make much sense. The physical manifestation of vampires include fangs, blackened eyes, and talons (why talons instead of claws? I think it’s a throwback to the idea we can shape-shift into bats, which I’ve seen no evidence we can do). I can tell you that blackened eyes help us see in almost total darkness (the irises open far wider than any normal human) while the fangs and talons excel at ripping open flesh. Even our own skin can absorb spilled blood when in direct contact with it (mark off the Countess Bathory space if you have her on your Bloodsucker Bingo card) but the mouth is faster; I’ll confirm there’s no lapping up blood like a dog involved when the thirst takes hold.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, coupled with an innate preternatural speed and strength, vampires are damnably efficient blood hunters already. So why a thrall ability, especially one that doesn’t work on other vampires? Assuming some kind of intelligent design (as if Darwinism had anything to do with it), it just doesn’t add up: it’s overkill. If you can thrall your prey, why not just use a single talon, pop a major artery, and drink your fill? Gross, yes, but still true.

Details? You want details.

First we need line-of-sight; our target must look into our eyes. No eye contact, no thrall. We also need at the same time to be heard, as if the brain must be attacked through two senses at once to be effective. Does that mean the blind can’t be thralled? Or the deaf? Perhaps, although I do know one vampire that needs neither because she can put both sight and sound into your head just by thinking about it, but we’ll skip that due to how uncommon that actually is.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I want you to know you’re all safe; regular infusions of my blood counter the effects of a vampire’s thrall…yes, including my own. It’s what also keeps our staff safe when dealing with other immortals to ensure heads remain clear and in the game.

If you weren’t ghouled, I would advise a few simple precautions. First, a vampire doesn’t like the daytime and can be easily recognized as the dead thing they are if seen in direct sunlight (yes, even me…and no, I’m not showing you) so this is very unlikely to happen to you during the day. From dusk until dawn is another story, however; if you are approached by a stranger, do not make direct eye contact.

It’s easier than you think…just focus on the nose or mouth whenever you look in the stranger’s direction. Hearing them within earshot is unavoidable unless you’re at a concert or in a construction zone, and since simultaneous sight and sound are required, a mere whisper in the ear is completely ineffective.

Of course, the best advice is to trust your instincts. No matter how helpless or handsome the stranger seems, even radiating a circle of charm and trust, you’re going to feel that little tinge of danger; LISTEN to it.

And if I’d only taken my own advice, you wouldn’t be reading this today.

Yes, this is one of those hypocritical “do as I say, not as I did” speeches.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly

First, my apologies for not updating last Sunday. It was Father’s Day and I spent some time with mine. He said to tell you all he says “hello.”

One of our staffers, Cole, asked this question the other day and I thought it was a good one. “What’s the hardest thing about being a vampire?” It isn’t what you think. As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t ask for this, I wasn’t BORN a vampire (if such a thing were even possible), and I will NEVER ‘make’ another one. So, what then?

My answer? Doing nothing.

Fair warning: this is going to go a little long.

Poor me, right? Incredible strength, bending people to my will, moving crazy fast, never getting sick, living forever? It’s not the checklist of supernatural benefits, it’s living with them. Maybe for someone without a conscience, being a bloodsucking immortal is all play and no work. For one trying to stay connected to humanity? It’s a daily struggle…well, nightly.

Details? Details.

You can’t motivate people by forcing them to change how they think. If I mind-mess with someone and tell them to quit smoking, that doesn’t remove the addiction; it just tells them “you can’t smoke.” The need is still there, and the person won’t know or understand why. Does that make sense? It’s the way the brain is wired. Short-term memory loss isn’t so bad – I avoid it whenever I can – but I still worry about the long-term effects.

Strength and speed? I have to be SO careful. Vampires are quick to anger, and as predators, we hulk-out a bit: the madder we are, the stronger and more deadly we are. I can put my fist through a regular door without much effort and through a steel security door with only a little more. Those ultra-thin champagne flutes? Anything lighter than a pint glass or a tankard feels like it’s going to shatter in my grip.

My point is this: if I see something happening that I don’t like, I have to think twice about doing anything about it because it rarely ends well for the other person.

Not too long ago, a man who realized that I was a vampire attacked me…with a sawed-off shotgun. To the chest. Seriously. Yes, it hurt like hell, but I was the one who initiated contact and I did it with poor intentions. No, I wasn’t going to kill him or even sneak a drink; I just had some questions about his brother who I suspected to be another vampire. Not only was I right, but the man had been taught what to do about it.

The other thing I didn’t know was that a child was in the vehicle. No, not his daughter, but someone he would protect as if she was. I should have left as soon as I knew, but I didn’t. I thought if I could just subdue the man, I could question him and it that would be it. But he kept firing…and even though he couldn’t kill me like that, it still hurt and it was pissing me off – enduring it knowing full-well I didn’t have to.

Again, I should have run.

Instead, out came the fangs and talons; I was on him in a second. I eviscerated him. I didn’t even want his blood…I just wanted him to stop shooting me! He had been going for another weapon when I leapt, one that discharged and, to my horror, hit the little girl. In that moment, I had two people dying beside me – neither who deserved it – and the ability to possibly save only one. I let the man make the decision. Without a second thought, he sacrificed himself to let me save the girl. She lived, but no one should have had to die.

All I had to do was walk away. All I had to do was NOTHING…but I didn’t.

I have to live with that – forever – and I deserve that.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not do a thing.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

@JanissConnelly on Twitter