Kate Beckinsale and Worlds of Darkness – Vampire Verisimilitude

Fair warning: I can’t believe I’m still dwelling on this.

It has become apparent to me that you cannot be taken seriously as a female Vampire in book lit (or anywhere else) unless you dress like a Victorian corpse who died of consumption…or maybe a pierced tattooed thug in heavy eye makeup with ankh jewelry and quasi-street rubber/leather New Religion goth clothing.

Or — you know — you happen to look like Kate Beckinsale.

KateBeckinsaleVampiresDon’t get me wrong: I like her, too. She’s gorgeous in a timeless way, looks bad-ass whenever she wants, and you WANT to believe in the character she’s playing. Yet at the same time, she’s a walking undead cliché: perfect dark hair, pale skin, the ethereal blue supernatural contacts, the custom-leather corset (accentuating whatever you have to work with) and, well, just all of it.

* bangs head on desk *

Here’s the problem: NONE of this makes any sense. Who makes up all this stuff? “LadyVamps R Us?” Maybe Blade has an excuse (“He makes the weapons; I use ’em.”) but where’s the sweat shop of old gypsies stamping leather for the Underworld Vampire lords and death dealers?

Xombie NephthysHere’s the truth: anyone can be a Vampire (assuming you survive the transformation), so Vampires can look like anyone; “True Blood” got this right. We should WANT to look like “anyone.” We need real living human blood to sustain us — blood that can’t have been outside of a body for more than an hour — so a source must be kept close by, and willing donors are always preferred to unthinkably trying to maintain a fully stocked dungeon. Never mind that the whole undead Cleopatra look attracts the worst donors: mortals who just want to become immortal.

Tattoos and piercings? Oops…Vampires HEAL. That’s right; subdermal ink and flesh holes go away. I have to re-pierce my ears every single time I want to wear a pair; the holes close as soon the posts come out and are outright ejected whenever I rest.

Back to Underworld: who builds all their little underground blood bank safe-houses with the fully stocked weapons cabinets? Who keeps those places sterile and so spotlessly CLEAN? Ghouled slaves? Island Fortress Cleaning Services?

Dracula never had to put up with this kind of disrespect. Then again, he was originally EVIL.

So the next time you’re watching a supernatural television show or horror movie where “the too-cool Vampire girl” walks on-screen (and it’s ALWAYS a girl because, according to writers, no self-respecting lady Vampire would ever want to look like a mature woman) just remember: real Vampires can and do look like anyone. Just because you rise from the dead doesn’t mean a mysterious crate arrives from France full of dark makeup, clothing, and smoke machines to celebrate becoming a creature of the night.

Nor do you rise knowing expert martial arts fighting skills — but that’s a rant for another night.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Facebook @JanissConnelly
Tumblr janissconnelly.tumblr.com
Google+ JanissConnelly
Discus @justjaniss

JanissStakeSignature2016
WorldOfDarkness
BloodDrop

Forever Ever Day – Vampire Verisimilitude

Happy Valentine’s Day. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say today?

Like a Cupid-driven Noah’s Ark, everyone is expected to pair up two-by-two and talk about things like love, forever, and diamonds over dinner dates or a secret rendezvous. It’s Christmas 2.0 for all the single ladies; expectations are high and every word is scrutinized for informal innuendo. It’s the holiday that fails the Bechdel test on purpose and with extreme prejudice.

So, if you’re NOT spending Valentine’s Day with a potential or current lover, does that make you less of a person? Unwanted and undesirable? A monstrous freak?

HeartOfChocolateYour undying love; till death do us part; for all eternity — these are mortal phrases, words people say to each other in spite of secretly knowing a simple truth: things change. People set different goals for themselves — the right job, a level of fame, children and grandchildren — and they surround themselves with others who can make those things happen. If not, well, it’s high time to make that aforementioned change you can believe in.

Forever means something different to a Vampire.

It literally means FOREVER.

Never grow old and never die. It’ll be fun, they said…

Sometimes you greedily hold onto someone you can’t let go of (and far longer than you should) — and sometimes you have to let them go because it’s the right thing to do (no matter how much it breaks your heart or theirs).

And no, as a matter of fact — I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day this year. Thanks for wondering.

Now shut up.

. . .

Okay, sorry for the rant. I now return you to your regularly scheduled holiday festivities — already in progress.

Seriously, I’m good. Go and have fun.

The picture, by the way, is an anatomically correct one-pound chocolate heart; I’m told it’s delicious — especially if it belongs to someone else.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly

JanissStakeAndNecklace2015
BloodDrop

Vampire Heaven, West Virginia – Vampire Verisimilitude

It’s true — almost. See what I did there?

Full disclosure: while I was born at Wheeling Hospital, I grew up in St. Clairsville, Ohio (go Red Devils!) As often as I could, I spent holidays and summers in Gilmer County long before I made it my permanent residence. The Mountain State is indescribable to people who’ve never visited.

Unsurprisingly, it’s also home to a few Vampires.

The great state of West Virginia has a look, feel, and flavor all its own (not that kind of flavor). Beautiful mountain country mostly unspoiled by industry, a small but dedicated population far less backward than popular movies and television would have you believe, and a state-wide small-town feel that’s entirely different from everywhere else. Our state capital of Charleston boasts less than 60,000 people; New York City alone has over four times the population of our entire state.

But why “a Heaven for Vampires?” For one, it’s a peaceful place; we like that. Mountaineers take care of their own — whether related by blood or part of our extended family. People work together. There’s a work ethic here that things have to get done and nobody else is around to do them, so even if your nearest neighbor is five miles down the road, they’re still willing to help out. There’s also a mandatory relax ethic, too, so when the work’s done, it’s done. Anyone looking to get away from all the craziness and still reside within the continental United States couldn’t do much better.

The native terrain has kept too much major industry from ruining the state (though they still try). Away from major roadways like I-77 and I-79, most businesses don’t stay open too late and “roll up the sidewalks” at sundown. If you’re used to cities that never sleep, that isn’t here.

Sadly, things are changing now. The younger generation is being lured away by more lucrative out-of-state work, leaving the elderly to fend for themselves or fend off their remaining relatives looking for easy money. Heroin use has replaced Hillbilly Hash as the recreational drug of choice, and violent drug-related crimes have increased. Fracking and other industrial pollutants threaten an ecosystem that has survived unscathed for centuries is hurting the vital state tourism trade.

But like all Americans, Hill Folk will only take so much pushing around. We see more than we say, and we think more than you know. West “By God” Virginia is home, and we’re willing to share if outsiders are willing to take care of it and one another. Make no mistake; we see everything.

All the drug dealers, the industrial polluters, and anyone else trying exploit the Mountain State?

They won’t get away with it.

I promise — and I’m not alone.

Montani Semper Liberi.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly

BloodDrop

Never At Night – Immortal Mentor

Denton was twelve when he almost died and was well on his way to becoming a vampire…but I intervened. I had no idea what I was doing, but it made sense at the time: get enough human blood into his little body and hope the transformation would reverse itself. What I didn’t know was that it was too late; the transformation had set in, but the infusion had halted it. As near as our specialists at Cedarcrest could tell, Denton had become a permanent ghoul — for better or worse.

Timothy and I had taken precautions to ensure Denton got placed with his surviving foster-sister Becca into a good home. Offering significant financial support kept us in the loop with visitations to ensure our funding was going to the children, but Denton had grown distant with his caregivers; we hadn’t had the chance to talk frankly about ourselves to each other. At Hector’s insistence, we managed to convince the state to allow me a further role similar to a Big Sister, as long as both the foster parents Mr. and Mrs. Brunty agreed to it along with Denton.

Cedar Creek State Park, about seven miles outside of Glenville, was closed in the early evening, but I cashed in a favor and received special permission to use the location for a nighttime nature walk. My first thought had been something physical like a karate class — vampires and ghouls sometimes need to work out aggression — but Denton wasn’t interested. He had agreed to talk, and I was happy to oblige him.

We arrived at one of the covered picnic shelters where the grounds were best illuminated for the nighttime. Denton had answered my initial questions with one-word answers, but at least he answered. The opinion of our staff psychiatrist, Emily, was that I was too much of a child myself to be of any real use, but she mostly was concerned with the way Denton saw me: as one of the vampires who hurt him. I told her he didn’t think that — he knows I’m the one who saved him — but it made me worry.

Her only real advice: “Let him do most of the talking, Janiss, and listen well.”

“Have you been out here before?” I asked him.

He shrugged and sipped his bottled water.

I pointed out a bench away from the car as a chorus of reptiles and insects sang for us. “We could sit there for a while.”

Denton nodded and we both sat. It was cool clear night and the sky was full of stars.

“Do you like astronomy?”

He chuckled. “You have no idea what to say to me, do you?”

So much for being the clever adult. “Did you want to ask me something instead?”

“Does it hurt being a vampire?”

The question surprised me; it was a good question, even if I wasn’t entirely sure what he was asking. “You mean physical pain?”

“Yeah.”

“Not usually, and not if I take care of myself.” I was suspicious of the reasoning behind the question. “Are you in any pain?”

“Me? No. I just wondered since you’re supposed to be dead and all.”

Good point. “Well, I have to sleep in the ground. If I’m up after sunrise, it isn’t pleasant. It’s like being dead and still able to feel everything.”

“But not right now?”

“Never at night.”

He looked me up and down. “You look like you’re breathing.”

“I have a heartbeat, too.”

Denton turned his nose up at me. “Prove it.”

I smiled at the little smart-ass and pulled back the sleeve of my top to bare my wrist. “Check for a pulse.”

He did, but he wasn’t impressed. “You’re not much of a monster. How do I know you’re not faking?”

“Why would I lie to you about that?”

“Everyone lies to me.”

That was the truth. I imagined Denton was feeling unsure about himself because his only exposure to another vampire was the one who tried to turn him. Just like the night I woke up buried in Gramma’s cellar when I wasn’t sure of anything, Denton had never actually seen me for what I was. I could show him, but that was also a risk; would he see me as the person who saved him — and who happened to be a vampire — or just another monster?

“If I show you,” I said, “you have to promise not to scream and run away.” I made it sound as childish as I could.

His expression was a mix of curiosity and worry. “I promise.”

I felt my fingertips and gums split open as talons and fangs pushed through, and the night brightened as my pupils widened into the whites of my eyes. “Do you believe me now?”

His fascination outweighed his fright, but I could tell he was being cautious. “Do you want to drink my blood right now?”

“Are you afraid I might? Out here with no one around?” I wouldn’t have, but of course I wanted to. He didn’t need to know that.

“Nash did,” he said in a whisper. He sounded worried.

“I’m not him –”

“But you could be.”

“No, I can’t be,” I assured him. “You’re under my protection. I’ll never let anything hurt you.”

“You can’t be around all the time –”

I’ll never hurt you,” I clarified, allowing my human features to return.

“Are you fast and strong, too?”

“When I need to be. What about you?”

He didn’t seem to have expected I would ask that. “Yeah, but it scares Becca.”

“What part?”

“She says I run too fast, like freakishly fast. I had her time me. It’s one mile exactly to the neighbor’s house and back, so I pushed myself. I can do it in four minutes.”

It sounded quick. “Maybe you should go out for track. Do you like running?”

Denton looked incredulously at me. “You don’t even get what I just said! That’s ten seconds slower than Olympic runners; I looked it up. And I’m hungry — like, all the time.”

“It’s your metabolism,” I explained, hoping to ease his fears. “When people drink a few drops of my blood, they can do the same things you can for a few days –”

“So I’m going to start wanting blood, too?”

“No…you shouldn’t. You’re still alive.”

“What if I die?” he asked. “Will I be like you? Will I have to kill people?”

“I don’t…we don’t have to kill people.” It was getting hard to look at him knowing how horrified my facial expression probably was.

“But will I kill people? If I die in my sleep, will I wake up and kill the Bruntys or Becca?” Denton looked furious at me, and I had no good answer for him other than to be entirely honest.

“We don’t know. I’m sorry, but we don’t.”

His expression reverted back to the same passive nothingness I saw when I first picked him, the total disconnection. “Take me home.”

I almost told him that we still had a few hours, but I knew the visit was over.

Shit.

To be continued…


Full disclosure: this didn’t just happen. I thought I’d document the progress I made with Denton over the last few years as a series of blog entries. It’s mostly for myself, but also…well, you’ll see. Thank you for reading and feel free to comment below.

JanissStakeAndNecklace2015
BloodDrop

A Third Choice – Vampire Verisimilitude

This is a conversation I’ve had many times over — or some variation thereof. I’m not cruel but I’m not foolish. This is necessary…more often than I’d like.


Yes, it hurts. Believe me, I know. Keeping as still as possible is the best thing you can do right now.

Ironic, isn’t it? A piece of wood sticking out of your chest isn’t killing you, but it’s causing so much pain you probably wish it would.

I’ll also apologize for all the motion. We’ve taken precautions, but being inside a moving vehicle makes it more difficult.

ThirdChoiceCover-smallOf course, the best idea is I could remove that stake…but there would be conditions.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been staked before or even how long you’ve been a vampire, but from the way you were being treated by your sire, we guessed it wasn’t voluntary. Those kinds of relationships rarely end well, so we interceded. You watched us destroy your maker, but we both know what stays in our heads. Yes, I still have a little of mine, too.

Besides that, the other thing you’ll have to worry about is yourself.

I’m sorry the choice to become an immortal was made for you. You think you have two options: embrace the monster or allow yourself to be destroyed. From the way you’re looking at me, I’m guessing you don’t want to hurt anyone, but I want you to realize that the pain you’re in is diminishing your thirst. Did you notice?

I’m offering a third choice: you can choose to live with this, so to speak. I’ve learned to cope, but I couldn’t have done it without help. It will require trust and constant vigilance because any slip will not only affect your victim but anyone else whose trust you’ve earned. The blood you crave must be fresh, and it has to be both alive and human. There are no shortcuts here, so consider carefully what it is that will be expected of you.

You’ll be safe under my protection while you’re learning, but once that ends, you’ll have to leave. The place we’re going now can’t support more than two vampires for very long, but you have something you can offer those you befriend, not the least of which is your protection. As a guardian, you’ll be able to survive, but if you can’t do this, myself or someone else will destroy you. Do you understand?

A pair of handcuffs are binding your wrists. You won’t be able to escape them while the stake remains in, but if I remove it, I’m going to ask that you keep them on. If you try to break out, I’ll replace the stake and be very disappointed you’ve decided not to participate in our program. You’re locked into the back of this vehicle with me, so I promise you won’t be able to cause anyone else any harm.

So. Enough threats.

Would you like me to remove the stake, provided you promise to remain bound? Your thirst will return quickly. I don’t know how long it’s been since you last fed — you may be aware we can’t feed one another — plus it will be a while before we’ll be someplace I can provide for you. Or we can leave the stake in and I’ll talk to you if you’d like; I’ll understand completely if you’re afraid you can’t trust yourself to do as I’ve asked.

What do you want to do?

BloodDrop


Original publication: https://cedarcrestsanctum.com/a-third-choice/

Age and Treachery – Vampire Verisimilitude

I am not alone.

There was a time — a very short one — where I had foolishly considered I might be the only Vampire left in the world. It was an irrational thought born out of fear for others, that maybe my own destruction would ensure what happened to me couldn’t happen to anyone else.

I vowed never to create another of my kind. I’m proud to say I’ve kept that promise.

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignatureSince then, I’ve met and learned about other immortals, the survivors who’ve figured out how to subsist with humanity instead of draining it. As you can imagine, we each have a personal code of conduct, the things we will or won’t do, the imaginary lines we won’t cross.

As a result, we judge each other harshly. One of the things I’m most self-conscious about is how young I look. It’s been almost eight years yet I still look twenty-two; people in a close community tend to notice things like that. “You’ll figure it out,” the others tell me, “allowing yourself to age. We all do it.”

What I really hear is this: “Youth and talent are no match for age and treachery.”

Forget all that Anne Rice, Armand, and eternal-child Claudia stuff. While modern mortal culture champions remaining young forever and fighting age every step of the way, Vampires embrace it, settling on a later middle-age where they maintain a beautiful yet mature appearance. When you’re immortal, fifty is the new twenty, and people tend to dismiss someone who looks fifty-something for two decades than a twenty-two year old who hasn’t aged for twenty years. If you have ten times the strength, energy, and fortitude of a virile twenty-something, why look like a Spring Break party-goer when you can appear sophisticated, regal, and easily vanish into a crowd as a non-threat?

For the seducers among us, it’s not just about being the bait but enticing victims with the promise of learning a new trick or two from someone with experience. Think Lauren Hutton in Once Bitten — without the fully functional Vampire lair — and you’re on the right track.

Cougars with actual fangs.

Where’s all this coming from? Maybe because I’m heading toward thirty?

Oh, poor me, stuck looking twenty-two…how horrible, right?

Or maybe it’s that vow thing, the one I haven’t broken. All the personal code stuff.

I have some serious things to think about this year.

More later.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly

JanissStakeAndNecklace2015
BloodDrop

Creepy Fingers, Sexy Voice – Vampire Verisimilitude

I’m just going to throw out two words: Frank Langella.

Timothy, as many of you know, has an extensive collection of Vampire movies and television shows, but one I’d never heard him talk about was the 1979 Dracula. When you hear about classic leading actors playing Vampires, the names Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee come up, but you don’t hear the word sexy. Powerful and dangerous, sure — these Vampires took what they wanted, but Langella’s Dracula seduced.

Timothy and I watched his new Blu-ray of the movie early Christmas morning. He won’t admit it, but I think Frank is a favorite of his.

DraculaFrankLangellaAnd why not? The first time you see him, it’s only his fingers — long, slow, and deliberate — reaching for Mina tenderly but ensnaring her all the same. I think it was meant to be creepy…like watching a spider, but you still wanted to watch. The second time he is whole: tall, well dressed, moving with precision. His eyes linger and caress…wow. And his voice! Louisa once told me she knew I had been transformed from the quality of my voice, hearing that extra component that makes it “irresistible.” But hearing Langella pouring on the charm? Hearing him read a software agreement would be captivating.
Continue reading “Creepy Fingers, Sexy Voice – Vampire Verisimilitude”

Making Christmas Memories – Vampire Verisimilitude

Staying active physically, mentally, and spiritually are problems for today’s Seniors. Idle hands, idle minds, and idle lives. Never mind the devil and his well-documented workshop; this is an important holiday ideology.

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignaturePeople need purpose. Whether you’re starting out in life or approaching your so-called declining years, purpose fulfills us. Here’s where retirees and immortals have a lot in common: we both have a lifetime (or lifetimes) of memories haunting us. If you’re not a Vampire, those memories fade. Routine, hobbies, and memorabilia can help the elderly, but making new memories help hold onto old ones.

People need interaction. There’s nothing wrong with spending time alone — that’s a skill unto itself — but we’re social animals. Many of our residents have no other family or receive visits from relatives, so they have each and our staff. Looking forward to sharing with others provides purpose as well and keeps minds active.

People need people. I am suggesting to all of our supporters to make plans to visit with or contact your relatives, especially the ones who may not be with us much longer. Learn their stories and interact with them; you never know when they’ll be gone. The conversation is only one-way when you’re staring down at a headstone, Ebenezer.

Just think of me as three Christmas spirits rolled into one. With fangs.

Don’t wait. Get involved. Make memories.

This is what immortality is supposed to be: being remembered.

No one should need to seek out a Vampire for that.

Merry Christmas, everyone — and keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly

JanissStakeAndNecklace2015
BloodDrop

Dracula’s Bucket Brigade – Vampire Verisimilitude

Have you ever thought about a Vampire having to deal with something completely mundane?

I had to laugh at this.

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignatureWe have alarms at Cedarcrest Sanctum for various reasons, not the least of which is a trespasser on the property. With the safety of our residents being paramount, we monitor for several possible emergencies, but imagine my surprise when a flooding alarm went off. As someone who sleeps deep in a hole in the ground, flooding is not high on my list of favorite things. Fortunately, the flooding was traced to a pipe that had broken due to a freeze, but we had to carry equipment down into a sub-basement to pump out the water. Truthfully, I was doing a lot of the carrying.

This got me thinking about Dracula — silly, right? For the record, there’s no such guy, but imagine he and his brides waking up one stormy evening to discover the crypt was full of water. “Egads!” he’d cry out in a thick Romanian accent (I have no idea what he’d say, so I’m rolling with this). “Quickly, my brides! Gather all the buckets and towels you can find! For the love of darkness, save the tapestries!” Then there would be burst of motion and activity as four Vampires started bailing out a crypt and moving things away from the leak to wait out the storm. Turning into a bat, he’d brave the pelting rain to survey the roof, finding the portion that had given way.

DraculaBelaWax“Niña! Pinta! Santa María! Swoop down upon the unsuspecting village below the castle and use the cover of the night to snatch as many roofers as you can carry! Make all haste!” For full disclosure, I have no idea what the names of Dracula’s brides are, so I used Spanish ships — what’s he going to do, sue me for defamation of character? With the roofers secured, Dracula would use his command of the elements to make the storm over his castle stop so the roofers could fix the damage, then send them back to their village with a bag of gold each. Do you think that’d be enough to cover the workmanship plus free round-trip airfare to the castle and back?

Yes, I’m being silly, but I think the fictional King of all Vampires would be awesome at crisis management.

Keep each other safe — and dry.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly

JanissStakeAndNecklace2015
BloodDrop

A Good Arrangement – Vampire Verisimilitude

Sorry there was no specific Thanksgiving message this year…as usual. A few of you know why — and no, it had nothing to do with becoming a Vampire.

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday, but it’s been a while since then.

I adopted Christmas as my new favorite holiday afterward, basically moving up number two into the empty spot. Being the only child in a loving and well-off family didn’t suck and — as my mom used to say — I made out like a bandit. My dad would come back later and buy anything he’d caught me eyeballing.

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignatureMy mom was sneakier. Knowing dad would dote on me, she’d buy things for me I could re-gift to Daniel and Eric. Mr. and Mrs. Moore always seemed to be out of money at the start of school and right at Christmas, so up until we moved away, mom always “accidentally” bought things perfect for the boys. Dad must have known but he never said anything.

Seeing Daniel and Eric get something cool for Christmas that they couldn’t get for themselves always made me happy, but I think Mrs. Moore resented us for it. The only charity she wanted was from their oft-missing Uncle “No-Show” Par who she had decided owed her everything. Of course, I found out recently his absence wasn’t strictly due to avoiding Marie.

My point is this: I enjoy seeing others get something for themselves.

So, here we are in December. Colorful lights are going up in and around the small town of Glenville, West Virginia. Plans are being made and the 25th is just a few weeks away. I am blessed that everything I want this year is for someone else.

Sure, I wish I didn’t have to depend on so many others, but I give plenty in return. I wish the daytime didn’t make want to crawl into a dark hole, but there’s no fixing that. It’s not perfect, but we have a good arrangement, Cedarcrest and I, and the nights are wonderfully long this time of year.

Of course, this is usually the part of a Joss Whedon television show when the next Big Bad shows up.

Hopefully he/she/it is having a nice December holiday of their own and won’t come around until after the first of the year. If they want, I’ll even let them help take down the decorations.

If you’re reading this, please leave a few thoughts about your holiday plans. I’d love to read about them.

As always, keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly

JanissStakeAndNecklace2015
BloodDrop