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Tag: #JanissConnelly
Vampire Verisimilitude: “Do you sleep in a coffin?”
Janiss here again, and with a new question. Do vampires sleep in a coffin, me specifically?
We’re going there, huh?
This is actually two questions. First of all, vampires don’t sleep – much to my surprise – and I have confirmed this with other vampires. No sleep, nada, nothing, zip. It’s more like rest than sleep. That feeling you get right when you wake up and try to go back to sleep but really can’t? It feels like that coupled with staring wide-eyed at the ceiling. Did that make sense?
Pink Floyd invented a great phrase for it: “comfortably numb.”
Let me start again. When the sun is up, when sunlight is touching the ground, vampires stop simulating life the way we do at night. We feel undead, like the actual living dead, as if you’re dead and can still feel it. The heart stops – a damnably freaky feeling – and you stop breathing reflexively. It hurts but it also feels wrong; you crave the earth, wanting to be interred, as if you belong there. Once you’re in, all that weird goes away and then the numbness comes about. We can feel the sun moving across the sky, even at night when its hidden. Make no mistake: we know instinctively when the sun rises and sets.
Now, back to the coffin thing. No! In fact, we prefer the cold ground and to be in as close contact with it as possible, and completely below the surface of the ground. A few of those old movies got it right: going after a vampire during the daytime seems like a good idea, but disturbing one while they’re interred isn’t going to catch them unaware…it’s going to piss them off.
So, to recap: I don’t sleep in a coffin because I don’t actually sleep. Even if I’m resting, it still isn’t inside of a coffin. And no, I don’t give tours of my crypt, Mr. Johnson.
Great questions! Can’t wait to read the next one…mostly.
Keep each other safe.
~ Janiss
@JanissConnelly on Twitter
Vampire Verisimilitude: “What Are We Called?”
Yes, Timothy suggested the title. Could you tell? It was that or “Immortal Answers to Implausible Questions.”
In the real world (referring to everyone outside the main gates) people ask how one another are just to be polite. No one expects an honest answer, and if they get one, they usually hope it will be over before it gets too uncomfortable. But around here? We’re family, all of us, and we really want to know how our family members are doing.
140 character answers on Direct Messages aren’t cutting it.
Since we’re behind an electronic firewall here at Cedarcrest Sanctum, I can provide longer answers more securely without all the clever wordplay. We can even archive them so you can search them later.
Good? Good.
So, my first official question: “Do you prefer being called a vampire, an immortal, or something else? I wouldn’t imagine your kind enjoy being called bloodsuckers or monsters, right?” Thank you, Vivian! Quick answer: I prefer to be called Janiss, although a few of our staff members and residents seem to like “ma’am” and “Miss Janiss.” Am I really a Miss?
Long answer: “vampire” works best for me; the jury is still out on if we should call ourselves “a kind.” Immortal sounds a little stuck up, you know? It’s right up there with demigod, Zeus, Poseidon, king of the world, the Pope, or worse. That said, both Cedarcrest and myself now have relationships with other vampires, so maybe it’s time to reach out and see what they think.
Keep each other safe.
~ Janiss
@JanissConnelly on Twitter
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