Bloody Anti-Intellectuals – Vampire Verisimilitude

“Don’t be stupid,” was something I used to hear Eric tell his younger brother Daniel all the time. I didn’t say anything then… but I should have.

I HATE that expression. It felt dismissive, implying a person is willfully ignoring what the average person just should innately know.

I much prefer the phrase, “I know you’re smarter than this.” It can be a skill vs. will issue (thanks, performance evaluation terminology) because either you don’t have the capacity to rationally think through an idea or you’re too lazy to apply yourself. Then again, we don’t always know WHAT we don’t know when we’re growing up (or even after that).

2016janissvampirebeinghumanHere’s a scary little fact: Vampires don’t just become faster and stronger; they get smarter, as in actually able to process data faster. They don’t just notice a few things; they notice everything, and they can put observations and facts together quickly… the very definition of intelligence. Couple that with a photographic memory and you should get the idea it’s hard to one-up the undead. There’s a downside, of course — two, actually: distractibility and paranoia — but if you don’t use what you know and choose to ignore it, that knowledge is useless.

And then there’s personal pride: “What I believe is just as important as your facts.”

I think there exists a point when a person decides to believe a thing, and once chosen, no amount of evidence can shake their position on that belief. It can be argued that religion is such a belief; we all know it can be dangerous if it motivates you to extreme action against anyone who doesn’t believe as you do. That said, it can also motivate you into inaction: “We’re doomed, so we can all stop trying now.”

I can’t abide a closed mind, and I know I felt this way before being turned. You only fail when you give up.

And I mean about everything. Climate change, women’s rights, civil conflicts, minimum wage, helping your neighbor…

Ugh.

Okay, fine, make fun. Ha, ha… look at the silly Vampire giving two shits about anything other than her next infusion. Why should she care about things that won’t directly affect her? It’s not like the suffering of others or seeing the world around her failing should bother her. It’s certainly not because we share this planet, affecting every other being directly or indirectly with every decision we make and with no options for relocation.

Where are we all going again? And how did we end up in this handbasket?

Open your mind, Quaid.

I know you’re smarter than this.

Don’t be stupid.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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Immortal Memories – Vampire Verisimilitude

How does disaster affect an immortal?

I was twelve years old on September 11th, 2001 — not yet an immortal. Daniel was my age, but his older brother Eric was a sophomore in high school and understood what was happening more than us. We all felt it: shock, helplessness, confusion, anger… everything. But how does someone who has been around forever come to terms with this kind of event?

Here is what three other immortals told me.

The Humanitarian Viewpoint:
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“I came from a time when if you wanted to travel, you walked; if you wanted to eat, you hunted. Most strangers you met outside of your clan were travelers instead of tourists and you traded instead of purchased. Having seen the world evolve from thatched homes to high-rise skyscrapers seemed too sudden, and three centuries of experience made me wonder what held them up — or how easily they might come down again. I passed the World Trade Center once on the streets of New York City, but I didn’t have the courage to go in; it’s a sad thing for me to admit.

“The towers intimidated me, and while I imagined they would one day be replaced as everything is, I didn’t suspect how little time they had left. It was a shared terror when I, like most people in America, saw everything on television. There wasn’t time to process it because we worried what else was about to happen, each staring unblinking at the screens as we prayed it wouldn’t get any worse. It wasn’t about why it happened; we just hoped we would find a moment to catch our breath.”

The Conspiracy Counterpoint:

“We were arrogant, and what we watched was a much-needed slap in the face. The United States wasn’t immune anymore, and we couldn’t ignore what the rest of the world took for granted. I remember being impressed with the first responders, seeing the self-sacrifice and personal risks to save anyone they could, but in the days that followed, it felt like Pearl Harbor all over again.

“I hate to suggest it, but Americans were more gullible in 1941; they never concerned themselves with the possibility that the Japanese might have been allowed their attack to prime the great war machine. The conspiracy theorists were more prevalent on 9/11, and the fuel for their worries was telling: how could our government not know this was about to happen? Why didn’t they stop it? Either it was allowed to happen or our elected officials were incompetent.”

The Washington Insider:

“In October of 1957, the Russians had beaten us into space. Forget about Hitler’s V-2 rockets raining down onto the British Isles; if the Commies then could launch something into orbit, who could say they couldn’t drop a nuclear warhead into the middle of America? That was what the Space Race and the Cold War was all about: fear — a positive emotion if you want to keep a society alive.

“Nine-Eleven is a reminder of what dedicated patriots have always known: eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. We became complacent and let our guard down. It was no one’s fault and everyone’s fault. What followed a single morning of horror was a reminder that we can all come together to help support one another. A little fear is always healthy because it creates a common cause, but it’s a pity it too often takes a disaster to remind us of that.”

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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You Asked For It: My Magnum Opus – Vampire Verisimilitude

I’m still seeing swoons online over becoming immortal. “Please turn me.” “I want to be one of you!” “Vampires are SO cool — be my maker!” “I want to BE somebody!” And the one that floors me: “You’re so lucky that happened to you!”

All I hear is, “I wish I were handicapped so I could get better parking.”

Seriously: it’s the same damn thing — and you’re ASKING for it.

So here it is: my magnum opus. All further inquiries into being turned, remade, transformed, or whatever wonders you’ve imagined will now and in the future be referred to this post/document — I’ve been stewing over it for seven years and it’s time I unloaded. Feel free to skip all of this if you want to keep deluding yourself about becoming a creature of darkness and putting yourself in harm’s way that can’t be undone.

“Getting Lucky”: My Big Mistake

I turned left. That’s it — doomed in an instant. As I’ve done dozens of times before and a hundred times since, I crossed the Butchers Road bridge over the Little Kanawha River before turning onto Route 5. A right turn would take me in the direction of my Gramma’s old farmhouse; a left turn would head toward Glenville. I remember being a little hungry and a bit impatient, figuring I could nab a quick six-inch turkey sub in town and scarf it down it on the way back.

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The laziest bloodsucking bastard imaginable was already eying my little red Kia Soul from inside his stolen black Cadillac Escalade. If I’d have gone home to Gramma’s, I would have known he was following me. Once you leave the main road, only locals bother with the backwater twists and turns you have to take get anywhere — and we all have guns (welcome to West Virginia) since our nearest neighbors may be five miles away, never mind any possibility of the sheriff’s patrol getting there faster than a pizza delivery. To coin a phrase: city folks just don’t get it.

I turned left and the bastard followed. I often park farthest away from where I’m going because I like to walk, and he’d cleverly positioned himself between where I stopped and my favorite local sandwich shop. I left the safety of my vehicle, assumed the (admittedly) handsome man in the pretty SUV was lost and in need of directions — and I awoke naked in a shallow grave covered in dirt. One glance and a few words — that’s all — and I was his toy. No seduction, no sweeping me off my feet, no promises of a better life; he stole me away and took everything from me.

Okay, here’s where Joss Whedon suggests I should lighten the dire mood: How does a lady Vampire flirt? She bats her eyes. Funny, right? Yes? No. Moving along…

Myth #1: It Can’t Be As Bad As All That

Vampirism changes you physically. A thimbleful of your once-favorite beverage or a lick off of a medium-rare steak fillet are yours to enjoy without incurring ill effects, but none of that compares to your craving for the sweet taste and aroma of warm, living blood — and you’ll want more than you need. “That’s okay, I’ll just go to a local blood bank and make a withdraw.” Nope, nope, and nope. You can’t freeze it or store it, and anything drawn that’s over an hour old is repellent.

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You need warm living bodies to feed yourself (read: HUMAN only… no rats for you, Louis) and you need them readily. If you don’t satisfy that need, you’ll feel and look the part of a monster as your body betrays you and your mind devolves; you won’t be able to stop yourself if you slip too far away until that need is fully met. You’re going to want to connect with your old life — relatives, friends, co-workers — and they’ll be the first people you’ll want to sample. Oh, and children? Witches may hate them but Vampires LOVE them; that’s the blood you’ll want the most.

What would you get if your doctor became a Vampire? More blood tests than ever. Never trust “Dr. Acula.”

Myth #2: I’ll Still Be Me, Only Better

Sure, you get everything a supernatural predator needs: blackened eyes to see in low-light conditions, fangs and talons for ripping through flesh, strength and speed to catch and subdue your prey. If your victims can see and hear you, their minds become yours for as long as you like — but if you drink from them too heavily, their minds and memories stay with you… forever. A good rule of thumb is if you drain enough to kill them (whether you do or not) you risk a piece of their souls embedding itself within yours, starting with your maker (you can’t opt out of that one).

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They judge and distract you, and your mind’s eye sees them in anything reflective: mirrors, chrome, even still water. If those sound like things you’ve heard Vampires avoid, now you know why. If you give into their taunts and interact with them — we call it daydreaming — it leaves you vulnerable; it makes it difficult to distinguish memory from reality, especially if you’re in dangerous territory. Remember how Vampires on “Buffy” lost their souls after they turned? It can feel a little like that, and sometimes you’re not sure where you end and they begin… a bit like going mad.

Here’s another riddle. What’s it like to be kissed by a Vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.

Myth #3: No Honor Among the Un-Dead

Oh, and then there’s every other Vampire on the planet instinctively wanting to destroy you. None of this “nesting” thing like rats or bats; if you lock two Vampires in a box for an evening, only one is coming back out. It isn’t as easy as the movies and television show to make a Vampire, either, so it isn’t done on a whim and you’re technically creating a competitor and/or possibly your own self-destruction.

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We can even sense when we’re pushing up against another immortal’s territory, but not enough to pinpoint where they are exactly or how many there are. We believe it’s meant to warn us away from each other, but many take it as a sign of “getting ready to rumble.” Sure, you can keep human friends, but will they want to keep you? Maintaining a so-called masquerade is nothing short of exhausting — especially knowing you can kill pretty much anyone and be done with it.

Who does Dracula get emails from? His fang club.

Myth #4: Nothing Can Stop You

The good news: you don’t have to sleep in a coffin. The bad news: you don’t sleep at all… or dream ever again, for that matter. You’re always conscious and always aware — unless you’re daydreaming, which is just as distracting as it sounds. It isn’t unusual for Vampires to be seen talking to themselves, because they’re actually not (see Myth #2). But when the sun is up between dawn and dusk and its light can touch the earth, within the earth is the only place a Vampire can hide. Being up, active, and not below ground in at least a shallow grave feels like becoming the walking dead. Your heart stops, your breath ceases, and everything feels horribly wrong… but when you’re down in the dirt, it’s all comfortably numb. If you don’t plan for this at the end of every night, it won’t go well for you.

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At night, our physical bodies simulate life, retaining youth (unless we choose otherwise) and are hard to ignore. To quote a recent mockumentary: “We are the bait — but we’re also the trap.” People around us feel a fascination toward us, almost celebrity-like, an attraction they won’t understand, even to the point of empathizing our heightened emotion (read: if I’m sad, you’re sad). It’s difficult trusting anyone around us because we can’t always tell sincerity from influence. A Vampire becomes the center of attention but they can feel more alone than ever — never mind all the ways you can be subdued or destroyed (which I won’t go into details about here, mortal).

How do Vampires get around on Halloween night? Using blood vessels.

Maybe It’s Already Too Late

So, to recap: living human blood only; multiple personality syndrome; other Vampires want to destroy you; no sleeping or dreaming and you feel truly alone. Glamorous, right? Everything you wanted and more? Better than the way you have it now? Offing yourself is easy — just throw yourself at another Vampire and let paranoia take its course.

Having said all this, if you have been turned against your will or have found yourself unable to endure eternity, reach out to me; ask me anything. Modern technology and social media have created the perfect venue for immortals to interact in the human world like never before, all in a virtual place where we don’t need to fear one another.

Oh, and you can thank Timothy for telling me this one: Where do Vampires learn to suck blood? Law school.

Addendum:

As if asking to be turned, bitten, or unmade wasn’t enough, now I’m seeing folks tell others to ignore my warnings because I’m not talking about “real” vampires. Identify all you wish, but when I say “Vampires” (capital-V) I’m talking about the dangerous supernatural kind who’ll kill you when starved, not the misunderstood hemoglobin-deficient very-much-alive guys, a few of which who’ve decided at some point that “vampire” or “vampyre” meant them exclusively and that all other uses — including the origin of the word — are insults directed at them. Quite the contrary; I WISH the supernatural kind only existed in books and movies, but I can assure you no one talking about truly dangerous (read: Un-Dead) Vampires are referring to you: the kind I prefer.

Take your power seriously. Keep each other safe. Be indomitable.
~ Janiss

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My, What Big Eyes You Have – Vampire Verisimilitude

Dr. Karl and I chatted briefly over Twitter about this last night.

JanissPredatorModeSquareAvatarSmallThe word of the day is “Pupillometry.” Vampires can sprout fangs and talons, of course, but our pupils dilate far wider than the color of our irises, giving our eyes a black or dark red appearance when seen “vamped out” since the observed sclera (whites of the eye) almost disappear. As a supernatural predator, it’s one of the hardest things to conceal about ourselves in the wild since sudden widening is an involuntary response to danger and desire… even in mortal humans.

From Wikipedia: “Pupillometry is the measurement of pupil diameter in psychology. The method examines humans (including infants) and animals. Pupillary responses occur from birth and are involuntary. Pupil dilation of 0.5 mm can occur when elicited by psychological stimuli.” Like other parts of a lie detector test, the pupil diameter can provide an involuntary physical clue akin to a change in breathing or galvanic skin response.

Cool, huh? Fine: I’m a science nerd. Anyway…

The size of the human eye is slightly smaller than a full-size gumball, just 24 millimeters wide. The color iris portion is a about the width of an M&M (red ones were my favorite), averaging 12-15 millimeters wide. Like the aperture of a camera, the pupil in the center can expand to a maximum of 6-7 millimeters in diameter, so some color is always visible…if you’re human.

Fun fact: Vampires, have incredible visual acuity. On the standard 20/20 human scale, an eagle might have 20/4 vision while a hawk has 20/2 vision; they can spot crawling ants during a fly-over. Incredible, sure, but if the doctors at Cedarcrest Sanctum are correct, Vampires have a 20/1 visual acuity or better. Let me put that in perspective for you: I can’t just see a fingerprint on a mirror from across a 20-foot room; I can tell you who it belongs to if I’ve seen it before… and which fingertip.

Okay, end tangent; back to pupils. When light decreases, your iris opens the pupil to take in more light and improve your vision, just like a camera, and contracts again when more light is available. The problem is that this also happens involuntarily when something attracts your attention, whether aroused or fearful. Humans have a maximum aperture opening of 7mm… good but not great.

Vampires are essentially nocturnal predators; our irises open far wider — a stunning 16-18 millimeters or about 70% of an eyeball’s width — and are unfortunately more readily noticeable to the observant.

“My… what big eyes you have!” Uh oh: busted.

The good news is we can control this mostly involuntary response the same way you can: being aware of it and guarding our thoughts, which isn’t always easy (for us) when there’s fresh blood around. It’s when we’re lost in thought (read: daydreaming) and are being observed by sneaky humans that we have the greatest chance of getting caught.

We can always make you forget what you saw, of course, but that’s not entirely fair, is it? Hey… I never asked to be a walking lie detector with built-in reprogramming capability.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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City Vamp, Country Vamp – Vampire Verisimilitude

Gilmer Country — home to both Glenville State College and our esteemed Cedarcrest Sanctum — was shown in a recent report to be the second-poorest county in West Virginia out of fifty-five counties. That sounds bad…until you realize the cost of living isn’t high here and college students (for the most part) aren’t working.

You also wouldn’t know it seeing all the upgrades GSC has been making over the past few years.

Fortunately, Glenville retains its country charm. I grew up in St. Clairsville “Go Devils!” Ohio — in spitting distance of Wheeling, West Virginia — but I consider myself a country girl and mountaineer at heart, always looking to spend as much time as possible at my grandparent’s farm.

I refrain from the word Hillbilly; I’m more like a Hillbecky.

VampireMouseI know Vampires in both Wheeling and Washington, D.C., but I can’t imagine subsisting in the city. Daytime below ground is a requirement for us, so penthouse suites and park-view condos are out of the question in terms of practicality — unless you have a private Batman-esque express elevator straight down into the basement. And how bad would living in New Orleans be with all the flooding? Yes, according to Anne Rice, the Big Easy is infested with immortals, but that has to be pure fiction; no one I know would spend their day’s rest in a flooded grave (it’s terrible what keeps happening there).

Vampires who are the feeding-on-criminal-scum types have to avoid authorities, closed-circuit television monitoring, and who knows what else. I mean, when people are hungry, they go where the food is; there’s a support system in place, right? You don’t put your Johnny Appleseed bag over your shoulder to pick fruit trees or milk a cow for something to pour over breakfast cereal. It’s the same with domesticated Vampires; you know where your next meal is coming from and it shouldn’t be a surprise pain-in-the-neck to anyone.

Still, the country is laid-back and takes its time. Give me the sounds of crickets and rustling leaves over sirens and screams any night.

Your mileage may vary…and isn’t that little vampire country mouse adorable?

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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Mind Control, Elections, and You – Vampire Verisimilitude

I’ve talked about elections. I’ve mentioned the under-served Vampire Vote. What I haven’t said is the obvious: if Vampires can control the minds of mere mortals, why don’t they? Just tell them what you want and they must obey, right?

Thralling a mind isn’t as simple as that — subtlety is key.

Example? You can say “forget the last three minutes” or “forget you saw me or anyone was here tonight.” That usually works… UNLESS there’s missed evidence. With photographic or video proof to the contrary, a supervisor may decide Mr. Forgetful is either a liar or incompetent; now you’ve cost someone their job. Happy, now?

Missing time can usually be reconciled — “I must have nodded off” — but what about something hard-wired throughout a person’s long-term memory? “Forget you ever had a sister.” Wow. Now every memory of ever doing anything with that sibling is going to feel incomplete, including why a person felt the way they did: happy, sad, angry, jealous, or whatever. Thralling isn’t just mind control; it’s brain damage. The severity depends on how evil or thoughtless a Vampire is.

ManchurianCandidatRemakeLievThis brings us back to controlling an election cycle. Sure, maybe mention to the new small-town mayor that the Blood Bank doesn’t need new surveillance cameras (which is ridiculous because Vampires couldn’t use any of that blood, but that’s a different story) or to declare an “abandoned” century-old mansion on the edge of town a state landmark to ensure it’s never torn down and must be maintained by the city. Neat ideas, sure, but on a larger scale, problems ensue…

Just take a look at what’s happening in the current US presidential race.

If any candidate starts acting against their party’s interests, others will step in for damage control. Assuming a Vampire could get close enough to suggest “announce that Vampires are safe and should be accepted into American society with open arms,” someone else will counter that — people WILL take notice. If a candidate announces out-of-the-blue that major amounts of money should be set aside to provide blood dolls for timid immortals, that might raise a few eyebrows, too.

Having said all of that, I’m not suggesting that subtle suggestions couldn’t swing an election in a positive way for everyone; less Village of the Damned and more The Manchurian Candidate. Influential little whispers like “a great wall built over the border to a neighboring country would keep citizens safer” or “women should be held accountable for not carrying a child to term.” You know: the kinds of things that make it seem like the pressure is too great and the nominee is having what the media calls “a meltdown.”

You’re welcome, America.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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Paranormal Romance Extreme – Vampire Verisimilitude

A thousand-year old Viking vampire-werewolf-zombie-angel-sorcerer trained as a samurai-ninja-hacker-curator-Navy S.E.A.L. walks into a bar and says, “I have crossed oceans of time to take you to heaven in a flying DeLorean.”

Wow. Stacking the deck much? Some dude — I’m sure he’s got a twelve pack and a man-bun — who’s just EVERYTHING finds the perfect mate: a surrogate for the reader. When did these paranormal romance books get so extreme? How in the devil can anyone take any of this seriously?

ParanormalBlankCoverI used to read my mom’s old paperback romance books: Danielle Steel novels. What’s wrong with falling for a renowned heart-transplant surgeon these days? Maybe what I remember are the heroines: “a glamorous, well-to-do young writer,” or “a beautiful young journalist.” Yes, there’s a pattern here — only the young get to fall in love ’cause those are the rules — but when you don’t have to worry about money, you can concentrate on everything else you want out of life without consequence (insert sarcastic laugh here).

Maybe I should pitch my story to her. “An eternal twenty-two year old, tethered to a rest home by an insatiable thirst, tasked to protect those who keep her alive and forever forbidden to walk in the sun. Suddenly (because you have to overuse words like that on back cover blurbs), a tall, dark and handsome immortal from wherever offers to take her someplace-or-another and give her whatever he thinks she actually wants but blah, blah, blah…”

Sorry, Danielle (may I call you that?) I don’t think I’m cut out for your amazing brand of one-woman survivor story with so many paranormal elements in my personal afterlife. That said, I’d probably laugh at a thousand-year old Viking vampire-werewolf-zombie-angel-sorcerer trained as a samurai-ninja-hacker-curator-Navy S.E.A.L., not that I’d be hanging out in a bar to begin with. Oh, and he can teleport and move things with his mind, too… did I mention that?

*the blank book cover is available here for those interested.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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What the F**k is a Good Vampire? – Vampire Verisimilitude

I apologize in advance for the self-censored but semi-clear expletive, but I’m in a mood. Someone actually said to me (through social media) that they couldn’t take a “good Vampire” seriously.

When the hell did I ever claim that?! Let’s chuck all this good versus bad thing through a skyscraper window, shall we?

My place of residence is a retirement home; there are living people here I protect, and they provide for me in return. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, neither good nor bad. Do I care what happened to my residents? Yes…and that I would do anything to protect them could be considered “good” if you need context. As another example, gypsies willingly served Dracula not out of fear for their own lives but with a sense of duty and respect.

2016IanInYourEye600That said, if you come at me with the intent to harm myself or my charges, I will end you. Maybe I’ll give you a chance to turn your ass around and maybe I won’t. There are plenty of ways I can kill you, some faster than others and I have quite the imagination. Oh, that’s against the law? The last time I checked, there weren’t any Mountain State politicians exactly pandering to the Vampire Vote, so when you cross my threshold, consider anything that happens to you justified — not to mention we have a really great cleaning crew on staff.

I’m not Pollyanna with fangs. I’m not yours to label.

Don’t give me a reason and we’ll all continue to exist happily ever after.

How’s that for a good Vampire, mister social media crusader?

Now fuck off.

No, I’m not going to apologize for that…

~ Janiss

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Empathy and the Undead – Vampire Verisimilitude

Here’s a secret: animals can sense a Vampire’s presence — if the Vampire is very foolish.

CindersNightfury1SmallSo, too, can living people, but most dismiss the tell-tale signs as a mood swing or stray passing thought. What humans shrug off, animals are startled by because their emotions are not complex; they understand such emotions are not their own even if they can’t be sure of the source.

And all of it is the Vampire’s fault for not keeping their emotions in check. Fun, right?

As I’ve mentioned, vampirism doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and the secrets to unlocking our supernatural capabilities are jealously guarded among my kind.

This particular hindrance was discovered by accident while trying to stop a young boy from turning — I’ve mentioned Denton before — but I was so distraught by the thought of this horrible thing happening that someone else in the vehicle felt my grief, actually becoming distraught himself over the power of my emotion. This is somehow an extension of a Vampire’s thrall: area-of-effect emotional influence. In other words, if I’m on the prowl and feeling frisky, you may start to feel it if you’re close enough, even succumbing to it naturally if you were so inclined; why enthrall and command someone who already feels the same as I do? It’s the same ability that makes people take notice of us: a natural attractant to make the trap’s bait a bit more irresistible.

Good thing some of us use out powers for good, hmm?

And that brings me to my point: no one, not even a Vampire, is thinking all good or all evil thoughts.

I never had pets growing up; I mostly read books, studied, and did things inside with my parents and outside with my closest friends. Since becoming a Vampire, I worried about being near animals — kind of like I worried about being in a church. You see movies, you hear things, but while I’ve never been struck by lightning in a chapel, animals did act up when I was nearby until I discovered the truth: they were bothered by me worrying about me bothering them — a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Whenever I’m having a strong emotion, I avoid people but especially animals now; they can tell when I can’t keep my feelings in check, no matter how passive an expression I put on my face. I’m not angry all the time anymore than I’m happy all the time — is anyone?

So the next time your pet acts up for no reason or you feel unusually happy, sad, or hateful, don’t worry…even if you rightly suspect a nearby Vampire is the secret cause of it.

Give us a few minutes. It usually doesn’t take us too long to get things figured out.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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“The Orderly” – Vampire Verisimilitude

The orderly opened his eyes; I waited patiently for the reality of his dire situation to set in.

2016OrderlyHandsHis eyes darted around in panic, finding himself in a hospital bed rather than tending one. I watched his shoulder lurch as he attempted to use his hand, but I had already told him he couldn’t use his arms or legs; he’d simply forgotten — also my doing. Did you know screaming sounds a lot like someone gasping for breath when they can only whisper? That was when I stood up from my comfortable chair. He recognized the illusion I had planted into his mind.

“Ms. Johnson?” he whispered. I could have heard him were I on the opposite side of the assisted-care facility, but I was playing a part: the kind, gentle, and elderly Vivian Johnson who had come to stay a week before.

I leaned in close, feigning confusion. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“Help me!” he said, sounding a bit horrified.

“No, no. You said something else before that…”

“Please!” he gasped again, but his inability to achieve any actual volume only terrified him more.

Good; I had his attention.

I took his chin into my hand and forcefully turned his head toward me. “It feels different when you’re on this end, doesn’t it? Helpless and entirely dependent upon someone else. You can’t walk around, you can’t lift anything, and that bed is your entire world.”

“How…how did I get here? How did I get like this?”

“Tsk, tsk. You’re asking the wrong question.”

The terror in his eyes turned to confusion. I glanced down at his uniform, reminding myself to use the name on his badge.

“Tucker, do you think you’ve treated your patients with the dignity and respect they deserve?”

A slow realization set in as his features softened and reflected genuine guilt…or at the very least the acknowledgment he’d earned his predicament. He wasn’t a complete idiot.

“I’ve been watching you, Tucker. You’re cruel and thoughtless. You’re too rough with your patients, you don’t listen to them, and they hear you when you dismiss them under your breath. The only thing that gives you any pleasure is seeing the fear in the eyes of your charges when they realize it’s you being sent to assist them. Do you enjoy that kind of power, having trained everyone to be afraid of you?”

Confusion played across his face. With luck, maybe he realized there was no excuse for his actions.

“Well, I don’t have the kind of time you’ve had to earn that fear, so I’ll skip ahead if that’s all right.”

I let Tucker watch my transformation. In his mind, Vivian opened her mouth to show him her piercing fangs, looked upon him with blackened eyes, and snatched up his arm with taloned fingers. As his heart raced and his skin oozed sweat, I ran my mouth close over his arm, even letting one fang rake his flesh ever so slightly. The entire bed vibrated with his trembling.

I wouldn’t have bit him, of course. I imagined his blood tasted like hate and raw sewage.

“Am I dead?” Tucker asked. “Is this Hell? Did I die?”

I couldn’t resist a toothy grin. “Is that what you want, what you think you deserve? I can grant your wish…”

“No!” He didn’t blink; he didn’t even breathe.

I casually released his arm and placed it next to him. “No? Then what do you deserve for your sins?”

Oh — he wasn’t going to cry, was he?

I pulled in the fangs and talons and allowed my eyes to become normal. “How about we consider this a preview, hmm? A taste of things to come, when you’ve reached your golden years and things begin to break down — ”

“I’ll do better,” he pleaded. “Just fix this!”

“That won’t do, Tucker,” I explained. “You’re going to quit. You’re going to find another profession where you can’t intimidate people who have to depend upon you. I want you to think hard about the way you’ve treated others and how you’d like to be treated.” I leaned in close, lowering my volume to a whisper. “Because I will be watching you for the rest of your life. If you return to your old ways, I’ll know, and while I may not come to you immediately, rest assured I will…and you’ll wish you were only bedridden after what I’ll do to you.”

Tucker nodded, still looking afraid.

I looked him dead in the eyes. “You can move your arms and legs again, Tucker, and your voice is no longer restricted to a whisper. After you leave this room, you will be able to see me as I am and see the real Vivian Johnson again.” While the thrall was in place, he wouldn’t remember I had given him any commands. I released him and said, “You can go now.”

He tested his arms; his hands worked. He cleared his throat and spoke in a normal tone. “Thank you…”

Still appearing as Vivian, my eyes blackened and my voice deepened. “Don’t thank me — get the hell out of my bed!

Tucker scrambled like a caught cockroach to get out of the room.

Vivian couldn’t help but laugh. “Thank you,” she said after he was gone, “for putting the fear of you in him.”

“People like him should never be hired to work in places like this, but limited resources and finding good folks to help take care of others isn’t easy.”

“Or a good vampire?” she added.

“What I did just now wasn’t exactly good…”

Vivian touched my arm. “I know Cedarcrest Sanctum doesn’t have the resources to monitor every assisted-living facility in West Virginia, but this thing we did, dropping me off and looking around a bit? We should keep doing that.”

I smiled. “It’s still risky. Something could happen to you.”

“Not ghouled on your blood, it won’t. So…where to next?”


Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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