City Vamp, Country Vamp – Vampire Verisimilitude

Gilmer Country — home to both Glenville State College and our esteemed Cedarcrest Sanctum — was shown in a recent report to be the second-poorest county in West Virginia out of fifty-five counties. That sounds bad…until you realize the cost of living isn’t high here and college students (for the most part) aren’t working.

You also wouldn’t know it seeing all the upgrades GSC has been making over the past few years.

Fortunately, Glenville retains its country charm. I grew up in St. Clairsville “Go Devils!” Ohio — in spitting distance of Wheeling, West Virginia — but I consider myself a country girl and mountaineer at heart, always looking to spend as much time as possible at my grandparent’s farm.

I refrain from the word Hillbilly; I’m more like a Hillbecky.

VampireMouseI know Vampires in both Wheeling and Washington, D.C., but I can’t imagine subsisting in the city. Daytime below ground is a requirement for us, so penthouse suites and park-view condos are out of the question in terms of practicality — unless you have a private Batman-esque express elevator straight down into the basement. And how bad would living in New Orleans be with all the flooding? Yes, according to Anne Rice, the Big Easy is infested with immortals, but that has to be pure fiction; no one I know would spend their day’s rest in a flooded grave (it’s terrible what keeps happening there).

Vampires who are the feeding-on-criminal-scum types have to avoid authorities, closed-circuit television monitoring, and who knows what else. I mean, when people are hungry, they go where the food is; there’s a support system in place, right? You don’t put your Johnny Appleseed bag over your shoulder to pick fruit trees or milk a cow for something to pour over breakfast cereal. It’s the same with domesticated Vampires; you know where your next meal is coming from and it shouldn’t be a surprise pain-in-the-neck to anyone.

Still, the country is laid-back and takes its time. Give me the sounds of crickets and rustling leaves over sirens and screams any night.

Your mileage may vary…and isn’t that little vampire country mouse adorable?

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Twitter @JanissConnelly
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