Tag: vampires

Kate Beckinsale and Worlds of Darkness – Vampire Verisimilitude

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Fair warning: I can’t believe I’m still dwelling on this.

It has become apparent to me that you cannot be taken seriously as a female Vampire in book lit (or anywhere else) unless you dress like a Victorian corpse who died of consumption…or maybe a pierced tattooed thug in heavy eye makeup with ankh jewelry and quasi-street rubber/leather New Religion goth clothing.

Or — you know — you happen to look like Kate Beckinsale.

KateBeckinsaleVampiresDon’t get me wrong: I like her, too. She’s gorgeous in a timeless way, looks bad-ass whenever she wants, and you WANT to believe in the character she’s playing. Yet at the same time, she’s a walking undead cliché: perfect dark hair, pale skin, the ethereal blue supernatural contacts, the custom-leather corset (accentuating whatever you have to work with) and, well, just all of it.

* bangs head on desk *

Here’s the problem: NONE of this makes any sense. Who makes up all this stuff? “LadyVamps R Us?” Maybe Blade has an excuse (“He makes the weapons; I use ’em.”) but where’s the sweat shop of old gypsies stamping leather for the Underworld Vampire lords and death dealers?

Xombie NephthysHere’s the truth: anyone can be a Vampire (assuming you survive the transformation), so Vampires can look like anyone; “True Blood” got this right. We should WANT to look like “anyone.” We need real living human blood to sustain us — blood that can’t have been outside of a body for more than an hour — so a source must be kept close by, and willing donors are always preferred to unthinkably trying to maintain a fully stocked dungeon. Never mind that the whole undead Cleopatra look attracts the worst donors: mortals who just want to become immortal.

Tattoos and piercings? Oops…Vampires HEAL. That’s right; subdermal ink and flesh holes go away. I have to re-pierce my ears every single time I want to wear a pair; the holes close as soon the posts come out and are outright ejected whenever I rest.

Back to Underworld: who builds all their little underground blood bank safe-houses with the fully stocked weapons cabinets? Who keeps those places sterile and so spotlessly CLEAN? Ghouled slaves? Island Fortress Cleaning Services?

Dracula never had to put up with this kind of disrespect. Then again, he was originally EVIL.

So the next time you’re watching a supernatural television show or horror movie where “the too-cool Vampire girl” walks on-screen (and it’s ALWAYS a girl because, according to writers, no self-respecting lady Vampire would ever want to look like a mature woman) just remember: real Vampires can and do look like anyone. Just because you rise from the dead doesn’t mean a mysterious crate arrives from France full of dark makeup, clothing, and smoke machines to celebrate becoming a creature of the night.

Nor do you rise knowing expert martial arts fighting skills — but that’s a rant for another night.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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Limiting the Length of Shadow – Vampire Verisimilitude

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Edward Young once wrote, “Like our shadows, our wishes lengthen as our sun declines.” An interesting quote — considering his surname.

Anyone watching the news or social feeds knows 2016 has begun with a loss of life, mostly due to disease. To be fair and without naming names, a number of these public figures were in their so-called declining years. They had lived good lives, touching the minds and hearts of those who knew them — but how long is enough?

I’m worried.

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignatureYou know who we are. You know what we do here at Cedarcrest Sanctum. You know why we do it…but my mind is racing back to almost eight years ago. I asked our founder the first question that popped into my mind: “When are they allowed to die?”

Those welcomed into our family are given a rare and precious gift. No one has refused it until very recently, and all of you know the result. It was hard on all of us…

I’ll stop there. That isn’t what I’m here to talk about.

I need your opinions, any of them — ALL of them. Should the fountain of youth have limits? Must we impose a time limit on the extension of life? An arbitrary number — after 100 years, you take your chances afterward or give someone else a try? How long of a life is enough?

Yes, I am the source. But I refuse to believe this should be only my decision. Louisa left us no instructions for this or even her wishes should it come to pass.

Tell me your thoughts.

I warned all of you: important decisions are going to be made this year. We have fulfilled our founder’s original vision. A new set of rules will be needed going forward, but I will not make these decisions lightly nor alone.

Talk to me. Please.

I know you won’t let me down.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Addendum: some asked for the numbers. My question was about the emotional cost, but the resource management side is fair game. Cedarcrest maintains a base of sixty retirees humanely feeding one Vampire between two and three pints each day (don’t judge); in turn, the Vampire ghouls the residents and support staff every two days. Too many and one Vampire can’t keep up; too few and the Vampire won’t be fed. 

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Age and Treachery – Vampire Verisimilitude

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I am not alone.

There was a time — a very short one — where I had foolishly considered I might be the only Vampire left in the world. It was an irrational thought born out of fear for others, that maybe my own destruction would ensure what happened to me couldn’t happen to anyone else.

I vowed never to create another of my kind. I’m proud to say I’ve kept that promise.

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignatureSince then, I’ve met and learned about other immortals, the survivors who’ve figured out how to subsist with humanity instead of draining it. As you can imagine, we each have a personal code of conduct, the things we will or won’t do, the imaginary lines we won’t cross.

As a result, we judge each other harshly. One of the things I’m most self-conscious about is how young I look. It’s been almost eight years yet I still look twenty-two; people in a close community tend to notice things like that. “You’ll figure it out,” the others tell me, “allowing yourself to age. We all do it.”

What I really hear is this: “Youth and talent are no match for age and treachery.”

Forget all that Anne Rice, Armand, and eternal-child Claudia stuff. While modern mortal culture champions remaining young forever and fighting age every step of the way, Vampires embrace it, settling on a later middle-age where they maintain a beautiful yet mature appearance. When you’re immortal, fifty is the new twenty, and people tend to dismiss someone who looks fifty-something for two decades than a twenty-two year old who hasn’t aged for twenty years. If you have ten times the strength, energy, and fortitude of a virile twenty-something, why look like a Spring Break party-goer when you can appear sophisticated, regal, and easily vanish into a crowd as a non-threat?

For the seducers among us, it’s not just about being the bait but enticing victims with the promise of learning a new trick or two from someone with experience. Think Lauren Hutton in Once Bitten — without the fully functional Vampire lair — and you’re on the right track.

Cougars with actual fangs.

Where’s all this coming from? Maybe because I’m heading toward thirty?

Oh, poor me, stuck looking twenty-two…how horrible, right?

Or maybe it’s that vow thing, the one I haven’t broken. All the personal code stuff.

I have some serious things to think about this year.

More later.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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Creepy Fingers, Sexy Voice – Vampire Verisimilitude

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I’m just going to throw out two words: Frank Langella.

Timothy, as many of you know, has an extensive collection of Vampire movies and television shows, but one I’d never heard him talk about was the 1979 Dracula. When you hear about classic leading actors playing Vampires, the names Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee come up, but you don’t hear the word sexy. Powerful and dangerous, sure — these Vampires took what they wanted, but Langella’s Dracula seduced.

Timothy and I watched his new Blu-ray of the movie early Christmas morning. He won’t admit it, but I think Frank is a favorite of his.

DraculaFrankLangellaAnd why not? The first time you see him, it’s only his fingers — long, slow, and deliberate — reaching for Mina tenderly but ensnaring her all the same. I think it was meant to be creepy…like watching a spider, but you still wanted to watch. The second time he is whole: tall, well dressed, moving with precision. His eyes linger and caress…wow. And his voice! Louisa once told me she knew I had been transformed from the quality of my voice, hearing that extra component that makes it “irresistible.” But hearing Langella pouring on the charm? Hearing him read a software agreement would be captivating.
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Making Christmas Memories – Vampire Verisimilitude

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Staying active physically, mentally, and spiritually are problems for today’s Seniors. Idle hands, idle minds, and idle lives. Never mind the devil and his well-documented workshop; this is an important holiday ideology.

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignaturePeople need purpose. Whether you’re starting out in life or approaching your so-called declining years, purpose fulfills us. Here’s where retirees and immortals have a lot in common: we both have a lifetime (or lifetimes) of memories haunting us. If you’re not a Vampire, those memories fade. Routine, hobbies, and memorabilia can help the elderly, but making new memories help hold onto old ones.

People need interaction. There’s nothing wrong with spending time alone — that’s a skill unto itself — but we’re social animals. Many of our residents have no other family or receive visits from relatives, so they have each and our staff. Looking forward to sharing with others provides purpose as well and keeps minds active.

People need people. I am suggesting to all of our supporters to make plans to visit with or contact your relatives, especially the ones who may not be with us much longer. Learn their stories and interact with them; you never know when they’ll be gone. The conversation is only one-way when you’re staring down at a headstone, Ebenezer.

Just think of me as three Christmas spirits rolled into one. With fangs.

Don’t wait. Get involved. Make memories.

This is what immortality is supposed to be: being remembered.

No one should need to seek out a Vampire for that.

Merry Christmas, everyone — and keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

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“The Truce” – Conversations With Dead People

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Author’s Note: Spoiler Warning. The following entry references specific events taking place in the novel The Matriarch: Guardians.

For the longest time after I killed him, Hector remained bitter toward me. I couldn’t exactly blame him.

Since then, I’ve dreaded his appearance after visiting Becca and Denton, his two surviving foster children. The usual conversation that followed was a critique on my non-existent parenting skills, but the main reason for my visits was to ensure the kids were safe and provided for — and to ensure Denton’s permanent ghouling wasn’t affecting him too adversely.

The truth was I had no idea what I was doing; all I had were pavement-quality good intentions.

On a particular Friday night, I had just said my goodbyes and was leaving their foster residence when Hector appeared to me in the car.

I heard him before I saw him. “This isn’t working.” When I glanced over at him in the passenger’s seat, he seemed older than his usual middle-aged self, again wearing his favorite pipefitters union windbreaker.

“If this is another critique,” I replied in the nicest tone I could fake, “can we skip ahead to the part where you tell me I’m not qualified?”

His expression suggested he was also struggling with niceties. “This is something you can do. He needs a mentor.”

I kept my cool. Mostly. “So, after all the times you’ve said I wasn’t…”

“As a Vampire,” he clarified.

Huh. Okay, he surprised me. “Except Denton’s not a Vampire.” We were hoping he wouldn’t turn into one, either. Our researchers at Cedarcrest Sanctum theorized he might still become one if he died, completing the interrupted transformation.

“But he is different.” I’d only ever heard that tone of concern once before from Hector — the night he told me to take his life to save Becca’s. “He’ll listen to you. He knows you struggle with what you are. He can sense it.”

“He’s in middle school,” I argued. “How am I going to relate to anything he’s dealing with?”

“Do you think he can relate to anyone at all his own age right now? He’s close to Becca, but she doesn’t have your perspective — not to mention you’re the adult.”

“Why not Eric or Cole?”

Hector chuckled. “I noticed you left Travis off that list.” He became serious again. “No, Denton is more trusting of…female authority.”

“What does that even mean?” It sounded ominous.

“It has to do with how he wound up in foster care. It took him a long while to warm up to me.”

“Oh.” I decided if more details weren’t being offered up, I didn’t need to know them.

We both sat in the car quietly for a few moments outside of the home. A mentor? Like a big sister? Besides worrying about craving a snack, I couldn’t imagine myself working closely with kids anymore; my old life plans of becoming a grade school teacher had been murdered with me. Even the idea of being trusted alone in a classroom full of temptation made me shudder.

Hector spoke again. “I want to help you help him. It has to be you. I can’t help if it isn’t.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “So you need me.”

“Denton needs you — because I can’t be there for him except through you.”

That sobered me up. I looked back toward the house and noticed two pairs of eyes staring out from the dining room window. Becca and Denton were probably wondering why I hadn’t left yet, but it made sense to present the idea to Denton while I was still there. I paused just as I was about to open the car door.

“What are you waiting for?” Hector asked.

“I was wondering what kind of activity I could suggest we do together, like a bonding exercise.”

“He used to talk about those Matrix movies, the kung fu fighting. I introduced him to some old Bruce Lee films, too. If we could have afforded it, I would have liked to enroll him into a Judo class or something, but I was also afraid of him getting hurt.”

I smiled. “I don’t think that will be a problem anymore…the money or him getting hurt.”

“A little discipline can go a long way.”

“For both of us,” I added, raising a suspicious eyebrow at the ghost. “So if I do this, are you finally going to lighten up on me?”

“Hell no.” Hector’s tone was gruff as always, but there was an unusual hint of joy. “Not even a little.”

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Email janiss.connelly@cedarcrestsanctum.com
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“Pride and Proper Nouns” – Vampire Verisimilitude

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This bit of insight was inspired by my friend Juliette. She’s a bit of a blogger, writer, and an immortal herself, so check out her web page at Vampire Maman.

Belonging is important to social creatures, acceptance as part of the group. I say “THE group” instead of “A group” because it implies a particular group. As anyone reading this can well imagine, one has a sense of pride when it comes to being accepted.

The same can be said, I believe, for Vampires.

Did you catch it? I capitalized the “V” — and I’m using that from now on. Juliette does, but it never dawned on me why she did before until I seriously thought about it.

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignatureVampires aren’t evil by nature. Sure, we have a predisposition toward predator behavior, but what carnivorous creature in creation isn’t capable of killing? We’re also the most threatening to one another, but with effort and a few rules (thanks, social media!), many of us can get along fine…especially when we’re not in the same room.
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“A Fifth of November” – Vampire Verisimilitude

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November is an interesting month for me.

My birthday is the fifth, so I turn twenty-seven today — or I would if I were still alive.

(Before you ask, yes…my dad taught me the “Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November” rhyme.)

VampireCupcakesSpeaking of being alive, the concept of “life” has become fluid for me. I was told vampires simulate life (breath and heartbeat) so we can better lure in our victims, but I also consider the source (Ian was an ass). Although I can always feel it coming, I’m still not used to the sudden lurch of my heart stopping at sunrise.

November was also the month I was “turned,” a word that sounds better to me than “murdered.” I get that now; I’m still here even though I’m physically different. Another immortal once told me I was lucky in one respect: being turned at so early an age may have cheated me of a full life, but it afforded me the luxury of pretending to be alive as my actual self a while longer.

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“Barely a Thimble Full” – Conversations With Dead People

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Note: this is the start of a new segment. As a few of you are aware, I’m never really alone. There are people in my head, a few former victims. It’s punishment or at the very least a curse. To my mind, this is another reason vampires prefer to have people around, because we hear voices when we’re alone and see their faces staring back in reflections everywhere. Still thinking of becoming a vampire as a career goal?

I have a taste for cinnamon sugar. In my tea, my hot chocolate…even a dash in milk. As with everything not my preferred drink (copious amounts of the red stuff), I can only tolerate people foods in tiny amounts. For solids, no more than a finger-swipe across the rim of a jar. For liquids, barely a thimble full.

“I hate English toffee,” Daniel said as I sipped a new favorite.

Vampires can’t prepare thimble-sized portions of anything; I’ve tried and it never tastes right. I can try to make as little as possible and take an occasional sip, but unless I have someone there with me who can consume my leftovers, I end up throwing most of any real food or drink out.

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Happy Halloween: Beggar’s Night

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It’s almost here: Halloween.

No bait-and-switch angst today, just a fun idea. A throwback, if you like.

(“Can’t we have a little of the angst?” “No. Shh! I’ve been a stick in the mud in previous years; I’m done with all that.”)

We’re all-ages here at Cedarcrest, young and old, with many an All Hallow’s Eve tale to tell.

Once upon a time, some of you called it “Beggar’s Night.”

FromTheDeskOfJanissSignatureFor those celebrating, I’ve heard all kinds of stories about you little gremlins and your so-called harmless pranking. One of you titled yourselves “The Goblins of the Season.” Moving furniture off of porches, throwing rotten tomatoes or fruit, eggs and toilet paper. Little hellions all! Parents ignored this as long as it was kept to certain level; there were lines you knew not to cross.

The best part sounded like keeping your secrets each year, with each other or from each other.

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