Paranormal Romance Extreme – Vampire Verisimilitude

A thousand-year old Viking vampire-werewolf-zombie-angel-sorcerer trained as a samurai-ninja-hacker-curator-Navy S.E.A.L. walks into a bar and says, “I have crossed oceans of time to take you to heaven in a flying DeLorean.”

Wow. Stacking the deck much? Some dude — I’m sure he’s got a twelve pack and a man-bun — who’s just EVERYTHING finds the perfect mate: a surrogate for the reader. When did these paranormal romance books get so extreme? How in the devil can anyone take any of this seriously?

ParanormalBlankCoverI used to read my mom’s old paperback romance books: Danielle Steel novels. What’s wrong with falling for a renowned heart-transplant surgeon these days? Maybe what I remember are the heroines: “a glamorous, well-to-do young writer,” or “a beautiful young journalist.” Yes, there’s a pattern here — only the young get to fall in love ’cause those are the rules — but when you don’t have to worry about money, you can concentrate on everything else you want out of life without consequence (insert sarcastic laugh here).

Maybe I should pitch my story to her. “An eternal twenty-two year old, tethered to a rest home by an insatiable thirst, tasked to protect those who keep her alive and forever forbidden to walk in the sun. Suddenly (because you have to overuse words like that on back cover blurbs), a tall, dark and handsome immortal from wherever offers to take her someplace-or-another and give her whatever he thinks she actually wants but blah, blah, blah…”

Sorry, Danielle (may I call you that?) I don’t think I’m cut out for your amazing brand of one-woman survivor story with so many paranormal elements in my personal afterlife. That said, I’d probably laugh at a thousand-year old Viking vampire-werewolf-zombie-angel-sorcerer trained as a samurai-ninja-hacker-curator-Navy S.E.A.L., not that I’d be hanging out in a bar to begin with. Oh, and he can teleport and move things with his mind, too… did I mention that?

*the blank book cover is available here for those interested.

Keep each other safe.

~ Janiss

Twitter @JanissConnelly
Instagram @janiss.connelly
Discus @justjaniss


Memorial Day and a New Series Book Trailer!

Kevin here, author of the The Matriarch Vampires.

Janiss has taken Memorial Day weekend off, so I hope your weekend was enjoyable and that a few moments were spent remembering those who gave everything to defend their country.

To provide a brief series update, the first draft of the fourth and final book is well under way, but I took a little time before a convention this past weekend to compile all the new images (and a few of my newest) to create an all-new novel series book trailer.

I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to share it anywhere you can. Also, if you’re a fan of the series and haven’t had a chance to leave a review or rating for any or all of the books, please take a few minutes and leave as little as five words and a rating on Amazon. It really helps get the word out and anything is appreciated.

And now, the new trailer!

Janiss will return next Sunday with more Vampire Verisimilitude.


Social Media Links (to all residents and staff)

To all residents and staffers,

It has come to my attention that not everyone has been checking the website on a regular basis. I understand that we ask a lot of you and that you are very busy, but it is imperative that regular communication is maintained and that all updates are received.

In an effort to foster better and more timely contact, the decision has been made to utilize existing social media on both Facebook and Twitter. If you have personal accounts with these networks, please add these to receive vital information. In addition, please share these links with all residents and staffers that you may be in contact with to ensure maximum participation.

Matriarch Facebook PageCedarcrest Sanctum on Facebook
Matriarch Twitter PageCedarcrest Sanctum on Twitter

Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day to whom it applies.

~ Timothy Harker
Operations Administrator
Cedarcrest Sanctum